I Feel Lost
There have been many times in my life when I felt completely lost. Floundering around, crying or shouting… just letting it out (or holding it in.) What I didn’t realize (and sometimes still don’t), is that the times when I felt the most lost, were the times when I was getting ready to blossom.
I’ve heard that if the butterfly doesn’t fight to get out of its chrysalis, it doesn’t live. It’s the fighting, the struggle, that helps it become.
But I Want to Know What’s Going to Happen
This is the question that occupies my mind for days and weeks and months and years… when I am not living in this one day. Thoughts hamster wheel around … churn, churn, churn. Going nowhere.
I know that when I live, one day at a time, in this day; I am able to cope better with ‘feeling lost. I only have to be in today, notice the sky, taste the food and water I am fortunate to have, sing because I can.
Learning to live each day as it comes, required that I learn to listen to myself; to stop the mental gymnastics and reprogram my mind. There is comfort and power in:
- Paying attention to my body. What does it need? To stop taking it for granted. To treat myself with the time, care and energy I spend on other people.
- Going outside. Even if it’s only for 10 minutes. Breathe the air, look at nature.
- Making my mind quieter. Ugh, this is hard. I have tried many things, yoga, mediation, tai chi, walks in the woods, etc. They all work. When I find myself fighting one of these methods, I move on to another.
- Deciding that I’m worth it. I have to make this decision every day. My mind tells me that I should care for others. In my case, to the detriment of myself. I came to learn that when I care for myself, I actually am able to help others more. Seems contradictory but, for me, it’s true.
“The impeded stream is that one that sings”
Recently, I watching one of those singing competition shows. Many of the best singers had been through crushing difficulties. It is precisely those circumstances that made their performance so breathtaking.
There will always be someone who has it better or worse than me. Comparing is useless. I came to believe that things would get better for me when I gathered a few people around me that I could talk to, and then went to work on living in the present moment.
I hope you are finding a way to cope, to live in the day, and to appreciate, in whatever way you can, that your struggle will lead to an outcome, better than you could imagine. I am standing by you.
Image credit: Quote Pub