If Only I Was as Smarter, Better Looking… I’d Be Happier
If you think you’re awkward, you’re probably not THAT awkward. The truly socially unskilled, are largely unaware of their impact in social situations. For those of us who FEEL that we ‘don’t measure up’ to some unknown standard, the problem is that most of us think too much about what other people think of us. Reality is, most people don’t think about us much, if at all. Even if they are looking right at us, they’re probably not even seeing us.
We look at the other person and think so she’s so pretty, so smart, has a nice family…but the truth is that we don’t know anything about what her life is really like. We compare how we feel on the inside, with how they look on the outside. When we do that, we are comparing a feeling to a illusion. Not useful.
The Solution: Stop Comparing!
This is easy to say and hard to do, after all, comparing is human nature. How can I stop?
First of all, I have to be aware that I am comparing myself to others. I need to pay attention to the messages playing in my head. Am I as accepting of myself as I would be with someone else. (Why do I use up all my compassion on other people? I need some of it for myself.)
When I finally can hear the messages, then I need to turn off the negatives and substitute positives. For instance, when I see a couple that looks so in love and I miss having a happy relationship; I remember the couples who looked happy, but who, I knew, had unhealthy/unhappy relationships.
When I accept that I am ok, just the way I am, I can stop comparing myself to others and start comparing myself to my old self. That’s the true measure of my progress.
Image credit: Rise Networks