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It’s Not Personal (Even Though It Feels That Way)

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Of Course It’s Personal

It feels very personal when someone criticizes me, ignores me, denies my feelings, etc. When my self esteem is low, I can carry that ‘hurt’ with me for a long time. I ask myself why did I?… why did they?… why didn’t I?… why didn’t they?… and around and around I go.

Recently I forgot the birthday of someone that, I thought, would be very upset. As soon as I realized I had forgotten, I immediately sent a note and sent a text apologizing. When I didn’t hear back from the text, I started to beat myself up. I shouldn’t forget! Everyone else can forget a birthday, but not me. It’s unforgivable.  Shortly after that, I got a text thanking me for the birthday wishes. That was that. Seems silly now, but for a time, I felt really bad.

It’s Not Personal, It’s Business

Over the years in my business life, I learned to… not to take things personally. It was hard because … I’m a girl and girls are supposed to be nice and agreeable. But that’s not how business works. Business requires us to take risks and those risks come with consequences. People disagree, feel threatened, jealous or angry. When that happens, they lash out, often in unexpected ways. The best defense against this is to… not take things personally. When I put forth an idea, I just release it in the air. It’s as if the idea has a life of it’s own. So in business, I don’t take “it” personally.

It’s Always Personal

But personally, it’s a struggle. I have to constantly remind myself that… 90% of the time, “it” has nothing (or very little) to do with me. If I just take a beat, a breath, a minute… I just might see that.

By the way, don’t listen to anyone who says… you’re too sensitive, that you should lighten up. Your feelings are real. Feel them, process them, allow them to breathe; then let them go (when and if you can). I’ll be strong for you … if you’ll be strong for me.

For tips try: “How to (Try to) Not Take Things Personally”

Image Credit: Lifesource

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