Generated by All in One SEO v5.0.0.1, this is an llms.txt file, used by LLMs to index the site. # Hell in the Hallway When One Door Closes Another Opens, But It's Hell in the Hallway! ## Sitemaps - [XML Sitemap](https://hellinthehallway.net/sitemap.xml): Contains all public & indexable URLs for this website. ## Posts - [Uncertainty Overload: A Pandemic Special](https://hellinthehallway.net/2022/06/27/uncertainty-overload-a-pandemic-special/) - What's Wrong with This Picture? To some, this is a picture of trees; nice trees and greenery. To someone who knows, these trees are being overrun with a destructive vine called kudzu. This plant grows so densely and rapidly, that it overwhelms the trees underneath it by blocking out the sun light. The trees die. - [Indifference: A Lonely Road](https://hellinthehallway.net/2022/04/21/indifference-a-lonely-road/) - Indifference vs. Neglect I was reading book that mentioned being indifferent to others...that treating others with indifference was a way to make them feel small and alone. When I was reading it, I remembered all the times that I had treated myself with indifference, and it made me cry. I know why I do it, - [Anything Worth Doing, Is Worth Failing At](https://hellinthehallway.net/2022/03/09/anything-worth-doing-is-worth-failing-at/) - "That thing the nature of which, is totally unknown to you, is usually what you need to find. Finding it is a matter of getting lost... many people never go beyond what they know. Rebecca Solnit Let's Get Rid of the Word Failure It's not that failure doesn't exist, of course it does. The problem - [Fake It 'Til You Make it](https://hellinthehallway.net/2022/02/13/fake-it-til-you-make-it/) - Fake It... and Then Fake It Some More I was one of those people who could do a good job faking it. It seemed critical, especially at work, that I act as if everything was okay 100% of the time. This can be a good thing, but it also prevented me from being myself. Being - [Giving From Abundance, Not My Essence](https://hellinthehallway.net/2022/01/20/giving-from-abundance-not-my-essence/) - Be A Good Girl I was raised a good girl, a good, "do what's expected of you" girl. My alcoholic parents needed a lot of care, as did my siblings, my chronically ill older sister and a sweet little boy, my younger brother. My family taught me that it was my job to hold things - [Holding On Too Long](https://hellinthehallway.net/2022/01/11/holding-on-too-long/) - It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time In mid-December, I saw this pint container of eggnog at the store. I ran over to the shelf and joyously put it in my cart. Just looking at the container reminded me of happy times: making egg nog (yeah, we quit doing that... no eating raw - [Beautiful Packaging](https://hellinthehallway.net/2021/12/19/beautiful-packaging/) - Beauty Berries Since beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I need to up my game and here's why. I took this picture several blocks from my house in Oregon. I almost walked right by it but fortunately, I stopped and looked left. There they were, these bright fuchsia-colored berries, all unassuming, just hanging Viewing the art, the face, or the music from a creator's culture and background, takes conscious effort and work on our parts. Judgement is useful and useless. - [Life Hack: Ask For Help](https://hellinthehallway.net/2021/11/17/life-hack-ask-for-help/) - I Hate Asking for Help I'm the one who gives help and wisdom and all my goody-ness. I come by this trait honestly, being raised in a family of alcoholics. I had to learn how to take care, fix, tend, ignore my own needs. I've come to see how this adaptation in my behavior served - [Finding Focus in a Hazy World](https://hellinthehallway.net/2021/11/10/finding-focus-in-a-hazy-world/) - I see a lot of fear and frustration in people's eyes. there's a kind of weariness that comes from stress and uncertainty. as we move back to yet another 'normal', it's hard for me to feel settled. the world seems hazy. I have been feeling this more lately and my go-to solution is to look - [What the World Needs Now: Dignity](https://hellinthehallway.net/2021/11/05/what-the-world-needs-now-dignity/) - The American Spirit I have been thinking about the American "spirit." We favor independence, originality, go-getterism. I was on a call with some people and one of us mentioned that they had just hired an 11 year-old to mow their lawn. They told the story about how the kid had saved their money and bought - [Shoulda...Coulda...Have-ta](https://hellinthehallway.net/2021/05/13/shoulda-coulda-have-ta/) - Attention Fatigue There are so many musts and ‘breaking news'...like if I don’t stop everything and pay attention right now, I'm doomed. It's called attention fatigue, my guess is many of us have it. The first step is being aware that we're being pushed and pulled, every day. I remind myself that, I don’t have - [Parents: Stop Giving Work Advice to Millennials](https://hellinthehallway.net/2021/04/20/parents-stop-giving-work-advice-to-millennials/) - Sounds Harsh? In my work with Millennials and GenZ's, I have been holding a series of zoom sessions to provide a space for these young people to talk about their challenges in finding meaningful work. We talk about education, debt, networking, boss shopping, interviewing and all kinds of other things. I provide the forum and - [Your Mistakes... are Glorious](https://hellinthehallway.net/2021/03/25/your-mistakes-are-glorious/) - Gen Z's and millennials face unprecedented challenges in finding work. Supporting them in their journey is the best way to ensure prosperity for all. - [Creative Maladjustment](https://hellinthehallway.net/2021/03/09/creative-maladjustment/) - What is Creative Maladjustment? Creative Maladjustment - sounds like fun to me. I'm thinking about artists who just go for it, whether 'society' supports them or not. What do these words conjure up for you? I'm not mal- adjustedWell, I'm maladjusted, but I'm not that comfortable with itI'm maladjusted and I'm proud of it! Maybe There's no recipe for being true to yourself. Every day, the job is the same; show up for myself, to know and love myself. - [I Feel Lost, How is that a Good Thing?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2021/03/02/i-feel-lost-how-is-that-a-good-thing/) - I Feel Lost There have been many times in my life when I felt completely lost. Floundering around, crying or shouting... just letting it out (or holding it in.) What I didn't realize (and sometimes still don't), is that the times when I felt the most lost, were the times when I was getting ready when i no longer know what to do, that's when my real work begins. when I don't know which way to go, that's when my journey begins - [Find a Mentor & Hear Yourself](https://hellinthehallway.net/2021/01/29/find-a-mentor-hear-yourself/) - https://hellinthehallway.net/2021/01/29/find-a-mentor-hear-yourself/ Hell in the Hallway Find a Mentor & Hear Yourself August Life Transitions Deborah - [Planting Seeds for Entrepreneurship](https://hellinthehallway.net/2021/01/19/planting-seeds-for-entrepreneurship/) - Entrepreneurship isn't just founding a company, it's building skills, taking small risk, trying and failing. Entrepreneurship does just mean "starting a company." It's a growth mindset that teaches us to flex our learning and decision-making skills - [Trust Myself](https://hellinthehallway.net/2021/01/05/trust-myself/) - One "Word" Focus for 2021 Someone I know picks one word to focus on for the new year. I’ve never done this before, but this year I’m going to try it. The word I’m picking is trust. For the foreseeable future, I’m focusing on trusting myself. I see how, in the past, my lack of - [What Makes A Work Place Culture"Good" ?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2020/12/11/what-makes-a-work-place-culturegood/) - "Good" is Relative Thinking about your expectations of a good workplace culture, what might be at the top of your list? Strong benefits package?High pay?Training opportunities?Self-care and wellness programs? If you said all of the above, that is understandable. But for many younger workers, what is important to them, isn't even on this list. Workplace - [Qarrtsiluni](https://hellinthehallway.net/2020/12/01/qarrtsiluni/) - What is Qarrtsiluni? An Inuit word meaning, "Sitting together in the darkness, perhaps expectantly". What feeling does this definition bring up for you? I have mixed emotions about "darkness." On the one hand, there is the fear of the unknown, the boogeyman, the other is possibility. The notion that if I can get quiet, if - [Why is Meaningful Work Elusive?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2020/11/22/why-is-meaningful-work-elusive/) - The View From the Road There are likely thousands, if not millions of answers. Maybe, as many as there are people. Let's focus on this one. As we look at the photo, we see a lighted, dry inviting path. and a dark, wet uninviting... why would I go that way... path. Some people find their - [What is Meaningful Work to You?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2020/11/17/what-is-meaningful-work-to-you/) - I Wrote a Book - Background I have been fortunate to "hang around" younger people in my work, my friendships, and most importantly, as inspiration. I believe that the young have much to teach us oldsters. After talking to my young friends and thinking about my own work journey, I decided to write about meaningful - [Tikkun Olam](https://hellinthehallway.net/2019/08/22/tikkun-olam/) - Find the helpers who are changing & repairing the world; support their efforts. Negative news sells, so we have to look hard to find 'the good.' - [The Most Important Part, is Failure](https://hellinthehallway.net/2019/08/14/the-most-important-part-is-failure/) - If I Never Fail, I Never Learn When I think about the times that I changed and grew the most, it's when I screwed up. I don't recommend making mistakes for fun or being irresponsible, but trying to perfect is exhausting. In American education, students are rewarded for complying with rules, learning to recite/remember facts - [I'm Lazy](https://hellinthehallway.net/2019/08/08/im-lazy/) - Lazy is a Privilege I like being lazy. It's a gift of living in a rich country, where everything I could want or need is readily available. If I lived in a less fortunate place, I would need to go fetch water everyday or spend hours, just making sure I had food to eat. Because - [Wabi-Sabi](https://hellinthehallway.net/2019/07/30/wabi-sabi/) - Nothing Lasts, Nothing is Finished, Nothing is Perfect I wonder if those 3 phrases seem as crazy and disheartening to you as they initially did to me. Sounds like doomsday. When things are going well, I want them to stay that way forever. Even though, my life experience tells me that they can't and won't. - [Comfort](https://hellinthehallway.net/2019/07/17/comfort/) - Sore Feet, Sore Heart, Sore Head I love this saying... "you are the place I stand... when my feet are sore." I used to think to myself, I'm un'comfortable,' meaning that I was not able to be comforted. And I felt I was too far gone to be able to find solace from my sadness. - [Free Yourself](https://hellinthehallway.net/2019/06/25/free-yourself/) - What Am I Doing With My Life?! I've been on vacation and taking a break from a lot of "regular" things in my life. I've missed sharing my thoughts and hearing from you. I'm grateful to be back. If you don't know Nelson Mandela's story, I encourage you to check it out. The short version - [Can I Change?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2019/05/16/can-i-change/) - Five Steps to A Meaningful Life Psychologist Carl Rogers gave us some wonderful ways to understand ourselves. By simply outlining the path to self-understanding, we can begin to unravel the mystery of building a meaningful life. Be open to new experiences Live in the day Trust your gut Be creative and take risks Seek new - ["I Got This": The Good, The Bad and The Ugly](https://hellinthehallway.net/2019/05/02/i-got-this-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/) - When I Say I Got This... I Mean the Following... I Got This... When I say to myself or someone else, “I got this…” what am I really saying? Sometimes I mean, I’ve never done this b4 but I’m building confidence. Sometimes I mean, I’ve done this before and I’ve done ok so I still - [My Way](https://hellinthehallway.net/2019/03/28/my-way/) - I Get to Decide Sometimes I forget that I have the power to choose... ..how I spend my precious time and energy. If I'm too influenced by the media, family, friends, colleagues, trends, or by the "holes" in my heart... I make decisions that take me farther away from what I actually want. When I - [Humans Aren't Special](https://hellinthehallway.net/2019/03/19/humans-arent-special/) - Are We (Humans) Special? The poet W.S. Merwin an ecologist and interesting human being, said, "People are not special." I love this on so many levels. I think we're trained (maybe even brainwashed) to think that we need to be special. Humans spend a lot of time thinking about their "specialness." Instead of being happy - [Small Things](https://hellinthehallway.net/2019/03/06/small-things/) - Thinking Big I'm tired of thinking big. Everyone says... "Think big. You could do great things if only you'd: try harder work smarter grow up remember what it's like to be a child And on and on. It's exhausting. I don't want to be dismissive of their advice... ok, ok, I do. I want to - [I'm Not The Kind of Person Who...](https://hellinthehallway.net/2019/02/27/im-not-the-kind-of-person-who/) - Fill In The Blank I'm not the kind of person who _______________ I'm not the kind of person who likes to dress up or wear make up. I'm not the kind of person who likes make small talk. I'm not the kind of person who brags about my accomplishments. Except that, sometimes I like getting - [Creating a Diamond Takes Pressure](https://hellinthehallway.net/2019/02/20/creating-a-diamond-takes-pressure/) - Maybe I Don't Want to Be a Diamond I know that it takes pressure to create a diamond, but maybe I don't want to be a diamond. Maybe I could just be a rhinestone and have less pressure. In my journey, I've come to believe that becoming the diamond... is worth the effort. If we - [Trust But Verify - Part 2](https://hellinthehallway.net/2019/02/12/trust-but-verify-part-2/) - I Want to Trust Everyone, But... For me, it's easier just to pretend that people are trustworthy, rather than constantly checking on people to see if they deserve my trust. I hate to admit this about myself, but it's true. In the past, I've trusted people who have clearly demonstrated that they don't deserve it. - [Crossroads](https://hellinthehallway.net/2019/02/07/crossroads/) - Seeing the Crossroad Everyday, when I walk my dog in the morning, we come to a four-way intersection. It's inside my apartment complex, so there's no traffic and no reason to stop. But everyday, she stops and looks in all four directions. As if going one way would be a better a choice than another. - [Spectrum of Visibility](https://hellinthehallway.net/2019/01/29/spectrum-of-visibility/) - Invisible People Sometimes, I'm invisible. When I'm feeling vulnerable or lonely, I feel 'unseen.' In my dysfunctional family, being invisible was my way of coping. The homeless, people who are different from "most of the group", foreigners, pets that no one wants, sadly, the list goes on. I hate to admit that I look away - [Maybe There's A Reason...](https://hellinthehallway.net/2019/01/17/maybe-theres-a-reason/) - There's a reason why people act out anger, they are afraid. Compassion is a good tool - [What I Take For Granted](https://hellinthehallway.net/2018/12/18/what-i-take-for-granted/) - Gratitude vs. Taking For Granted What I Expect... At this time of the year, there's a lot of talk about being grateful, but sometimes we are so busy 'helping' others have nice holidays, that we forget what we really need to be grateful for. All the things we take for granted. I'm making a list - [Generous Listening](https://hellinthehallway.net/2018/12/05/generous-listening/) - What If All We Need Is Someone to Listen? When I was a teenager, I felt like no one 'heard' me when I talked. So, for the most part, I stopped talking about things that were important to me. It's hard to admit it but, my family, for various reasons, simply wasn't equipped to listen. - [Celebration of Difference](https://hellinthehallway.net/2018/11/29/celebration-of-difference/) - We're More Alike Than Different One great thing about 2018, is our ability to see the world from our phones. I can travel anywhere, see the cool local spots, see what the food is like, or get a glimpse into what makes the place tick. But no matter where I visit, when I see people, - [Self-Awareness Sucks](https://hellinthehallway.net/2018/11/14/self-awareness-sucks/) - "make yourself a door through which to be hospitable, even to the stranger in you" David Whyte It's So Much Work! Understanding myself is, intellectually, good. But the reality is, it sucks. If I'm going to be self-aware; I need to look at my problems and think, "what part of this belongs to me? what - [The Search for (Meaningful) Work](https://hellinthehallway.net/2018/11/08/the-search-for-meaningful-work/) - Shaping A Life The idea of combining 1) earning a living and 2) loving every minute of my life, seemed like a reasonable goal. For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be a French teacher. I went to school, traveled to Europe, did my student teaching. At the same time, I had - [Bad Juju](https://hellinthehallway.net/2018/10/31/bad-juju/) - Bad JuJu is all around us. We have a choice about what we focus on and what energy we put out into the world. Be realistic but kind. - [Your Life is Your Life.](https://hellinthehallway.net/2018/10/23/your-life-is-your-life/) - The Laughing Heart (excerpt) your life is your life. know it while you have it. you are marvelous the gods wait to delight in you. How It Was I used to spend a lot of time worrying and wondering. What if this happens, what if this person does that. What a waste. I was angry - [Shame Vs. Guilt](https://hellinthehallway.net/2018/10/09/shame-vs-guilt/) - What is Guilt? Here's Brene Brown's definition. "I believe that guilt is adaptive and helpful – it’s holding something we’ve done or failed to do up against our values and feeling psychological discomfort." So let's think about this. Guilt is a tool for improvement, to be used for self-examination... to find ways to compare our - [Ikigai - Your 'Reason For Being'](https://hellinthehallway.net/2018/10/03/ikigai-your-reason-for-being/) - What is Ikigai? Ikigai (Wikipedia) refers to the "source of value in one's life or the things that make one's life worthwhile.[1] The word roughly translates to the 'thing that you live for'[2] but it also has the nuance of 'the reason for which you wake up in the morning.' This is a Japanese term - [But, She's So Much Prettier, Smarter Than Me](https://hellinthehallway.net/2018/09/27/but-shes-so-much-prettier-smarter-than-me/) - If Only I Was as Smarter, Better Looking... I'd Be Happier If you think you're awkward, you're probably not THAT awkward. The truly socially unskilled, are largely unaware of their impact in social situations. For those of us who FEEL that we 'don't measure up' to some unknown standard, the problem is that most of - [Neat. Messy. Alive. Dead.](https://hellinthehallway.net/2018/09/20/neat-messy-alive-dead/) - Neat "Mother Nature" is a wizard. Humans can make beautiful things, precise things, but nowhere do we find the perfection that is the flower. Color and shape, in abundance. Beautiful is often 'neat', clean, consistent, coherent, symmetrical. We are taught to appreciate 'beautiful', but we are not taught to appreciate messy, transitions, fading. Messy I - [I Get Up. I Fall Down. I Keep Dancing.](https://hellinthehallway.net/2018/09/13/i-get-up-i-fall-down-i-keep-dancing/) - There's only today. Image credit: I get up. - [The Smartest Person in the Room](https://hellinthehallway.net/2018/09/05/the-smartest-person-in-the-room/) - Is Smart Overrated? What does being 'smart,' actually give a person? Does it help them be happy? Will it help someone earn a living (maybe)? Will it help make them friends (depends)? Will it enhance their peace of mind (questionable)? I am fortunate to have been born healthy, with a good mind. When I was - [Creating But Not Owning](https://hellinthehallway.net/2018/08/30/creating-but-not-owning/) - The Creative Journey With the exception of a few special people, creating is hard work. I prefer a broad definition of "creativity" to: making something... a garden, a meal, a relationship, a painting etc. ... with a open mind and heart. Being fully enveloped in the world and nurturing a sense of wonder. Inserting some - [What Is Cool?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2018/08/22/what-is-cool/) - What's "Cool"... When I was in high school, I was not cool. I attended 3 different high schools because we moved every year. I was always the new kid, I didn't fit in, I didn't think I was smart (and smart wasn't cool anyway.) I didn't have any particular talent, I was just... a teenager. - [I've Got Piles](https://hellinthehallway.net/2018/08/16/i-got-piles/) - What's A Pile? In this case, a pile is the stuff that I am responsible for. Not just the laundry or the dishes, it's all the things I am responsible for. My relationships, my work, my personal growth. All that is in my pile. Being human means that sometimes I gossip, sometimes I stick my - [I'm Sorry... So Sorry](https://hellinthehallway.net/2018/08/03/im-sorry-so-sorry/) - Oops, Excuse Me, I F'd Up, My Bad As a girl, I learned to say I'm sorry. A lot. It's a social norm that girls are taught to apologize, to be deferential and boys are taught not to apologize (even when they should), because it's a sign of weakness. Ugh. So I'm a serial 'apologizer.' - [Music Happens 'Between' the Notes](https://hellinthehallway.net/2018/07/27/music-happens-between-the-notes/) - Meet Yo-Yo Ma Maybe you already know him. He's not just a world famous cellist, he also calls himself a 'citizen' musician and a 'forensic musicologist.' Wow. I like to think that I work on being a citizen of the world, that is...while I live in one country, I consider myself to be part of - [I'm Different](https://hellinthehallway.net/2018/07/18/im-different/) - Different is Good Do you know this musician? Jimi Hendrix. If not, (and you like rock music), then give him a try. I love his music but even more, I love how he was himself. Yes, his life ended tragically (note: the 27 club) and if he's looking down from heaven, he's repeating these lyrics: - [Why Am I Talking?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2018/07/11/why-am-i-talking/) - I Can "Help" I don't mean to be arrogant when I offer my thoughts on what you should do about, well, anything. In fact, I think I'm being helpful when I offer my opinion about: your life and how you should run it your relationships and how you should manage them you money and how - [Do Not Push The River](https://hellinthehallway.net/2018/06/28/do-not-push-the-river/) - Life as Contradiction Why is it that softness triumphs over hardness? The Grand Canyon is an amazing sight. What is even more remarkable? ... the rock was eroded by water and the canyon formed. The softness of the water wore away the rock, slowly, one day at a time. When I'm confronted with difficulties, I - [Curiosity and the Creative Life](https://hellinthehallway.net/2018/06/20/curiosity-and-the-creative-life/) - Follow Your Passion - Not There's a lot of discussion about following your 'passion' and if you do that, your life will be full and not boring. Let's look at the myths surrounding this. Myth 1 - Passion is all I need. If you know what you love to do from when you're young, congratulations. - [Doggos Being Doggos](https://hellinthehallway.net/2018/06/11/doggos-being-doggos/) - Doggos Being Doggos When dogs are being dogs, we laugh. Even when they eat our shoes (well, you left it lying around right?), when they roll over on their back looking for a belly rub... they endear themselves to us. It's their perfect imperfections that makes us love them along with their loyalty and furriness. - [It's All Relative](https://hellinthehallway.net/2018/05/25/its-all-relative/) - What Makes Me... Me When I was a kid, my siblings and I created a collage. We each contributed a picture of something we felt was representative of the other two. I got a picture of a guitar for my brother and a paintbrush for my sister. For me, one of them added a picture - [Things I Know, But Cannot Explain](https://hellinthehallway.net/2018/05/16/things-i-know-but-cannot-explain/) - Things I Know When I was young, I was sure of things. It was great. I knew what was right, and, what was wrong. I could see things in black and white. I could argue my point of view with assurance. Then, as I matured (thank goodness!), I began to realize that every circumstance is - [Where is Your Home?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2018/05/03/where-is-your-home/) - I Was Born Here, I Live There I moved 10 times before the age of 17. I went to 3 different high schools in two different states. When people would ask me, "Where are you from?"... I used to want to cry. I didn't want to lie, but I didn't want to tell the truth. - [Forgiveness Takes Time](https://hellinthehallway.net/2018/04/25/forgiveness-takes-time/) - Where to Begin My parents were alcoholics. It's taken me a long time to be able to say that without shame, without anger. On top of their alcoholism, they were both mentally ill. When they were young, mental illness was largely "untreatable." Partly because so many conditions were unrecognized and partly because there were few - [Average Is Good (Maybe Even Better)](https://hellinthehallway.net/2018/04/19/average-is-good-maybe-even-better/) - But She's Special, Why Aren't I? In a world where we all want to feel special, it's hard to consider ourselves average. The truth is though, that everyone (without exception) excels at something. Think about that for a minute. Pick any person in your life... maybe even someone you're not that fond of. What do - [Trust But Verify](https://hellinthehallway.net/2018/04/11/trustbutverify/) - Start From Where You Are When I think of the challenges I have in my life, I see that I have two ways of solving problems. One is logical. I assess the problem rationally, talk things over with others, break the solution into small steps and get to work. These are problems that have little - [What We Think, We Become](https://hellinthehallway.net/2018/04/05/paying-attention/) - “Tell me to what you pay attention and I will tell you who you are.” Jose Ortega y Gassett Here's something to try. Tomorrow, for fifteen minutes, focus all your attention on the person you are talking to. Don't do anything else during this time. Don't think about what you are going to say. Don't - [I Call B*ll Sh*t](https://hellinthehallway.net/2018/03/21/i-call-bll-sht/) - The Authenticity Dilemma Authenticity = being true to one's own personality, spirit, or character. It is a combination of trustworthiness + reliability that equals credibility. I am a Baby Boomer. My generation brought us good things and bad things. Good= we protested to help bring about the end of the Vietnam War. Bad = Everything - [Self-Esteem Is Overrated](https://hellinthehallway.net/2018/03/08/self-esteem-is-overrated/) - Acting As If Everything is Fine I like to act as if everything is fine. I don't want to be a burden to anyone. I want people to see me as self-sufficient. This is both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because I am a competent, caring person. A curse because I don't know - [Self-Esteem Is Overrated](https://hellinthehallway.net/2018/03/08/self-esteem-is-overrated/) - Acting As If Everything is Fine I like to act as if everything is fine. I don't want to be a burden to anyone. I want people to see me as self-sufficient. This is both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because I am a competent, caring person. A curse because I don't know - [Sighted Eyes. Feeling Heart.](https://hellinthehallway.net/2018/03/01/sighted-eyes-feeling-heart/) - Awareness = Action When I become aware of some difficulty, I sometimes internalize the feelings of sadness and helplessness. I want to take action but... what should I do? This is my struggle. I am clear that I have a responsibility to do what I can to improve the lives of those less fortunate. But - [It's Not Personal (Even Though It Feels That Way)](https://hellinthehallway.net/2018/02/15/its-not-personal-even-though-it-feels-that-way/) - Of Course It's Personal It feels very personal when someone criticizes me, ignores me, denies my feelings, etc. When my self esteem is low, I can carry that 'hurt' with me for a long time. I ask myself why did I?... why did they?... why didn't I?... why didn't they?... and around and around I - [I'm Awkward](https://hellinthehallway.net/2018/02/07/im-awkward/) - Everyone Else is Cool, I'm Awkward If you know Jenna Marbles, then you know she's the queen of awkward, in the best possible way. She's shown us that awkward is... okay and normal. And, in the case of my family (she's my daughter), it's expected, accepted and endearing. A lot of what passes for feelings - [Embrace the 'Suck'](https://hellinthehallway.net/2018/02/01/embrace-the-suck/) - Embrace the Suck When I face challenging times, I tend to do one of two things.. either I stick my head in the sand and pretend it's not happening or I jump in with both feet trying to 'fix' it. Neither one is particularly useful. There's one piece of advice that I haven't tried... that - [The Case For: "I Don't Know"](https://hellinthehallway.net/2018/01/24/i-dont-know/) - "Repeating the words “I don’t know” allows us to question tightly-held ideas. A 'don't-know' mind is characterized by curiosity, wonder, awe, and surprise. The little phrase, “I don’t know,” is very, very powerful." Gil Fronsdal Certainty One thing I noticed, in all my years in business, is that it's the confident people (mostly men) who - [Kintsukuroi](https://hellinthehallway.net/2018/01/17/kintsukuroi/) - “Kintsukuroi” means “to repair with gold” in Japanese, and is the art of repairing pottery with gold and understanding that the piece is the more beautiful for having been broken. The Purpose of "Brokeness" So many things seem broken. If we focus on these, we can drive ourselves crazy. If we simply decide to distract - [The Fight to Be Myself](https://hellinthehallway.net/2018/01/12/the-fight-to-be-myself/) - Who Am I? One of the most important battles of my life has been to learn who I really am. It's unclear if the "obstacles" or challenges that I've faced are there to stop me, hinder me or to help me. Some, like my parent's alcoholism, shaped me forever. Some, like my college dean telling - [I'll Do It When I'm Ready](https://hellinthehallway.net/2017/12/28/ill-do-it-when-im-ready/) - If I wait until I'm "ready," I may never do it. Believe in yourself. - [Should I Stay or Should I Go?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2017/12/18/should-i-stay-or-should-i-go/) - If you get a chance to move to a new place, take it. You'll learn a lot about yourself. - ["Just" (Doesn't) Do It](https://hellinthehallway.net/2017/12/13/just-doesnt-do-it/) - self-compassion is a better way to improve your life than self-criticism - [The First Step is The Hardest](https://hellinthehallway.net/2017/12/05/the-first-step-is-the-hardest/) - I Don't Like Where I Am Let's say I'm confused and unsettled. I'm not unhappy necessarily, but I don't feel content with the direction I'm heading. I've tried lots of things to change my circumstances, but nothing seems to pull me out of the funk. What do I do? But I Already Tried That When - [The Jenna Way](https://hellinthehallway.net/2017/11/09/the-jenna-way/) - Thanks, I'll Do It My Way I read a story on Quora about an introvert who was afraid to dance. He was at a big party, everyone was dancing. He was just standing off to the side, watching. One of his co-workers, Will, saw him standing there and danced over to him. "Why aren't you - [Radical Gratitude](https://hellinthehallway.net/2017/10/26/radicalgratitude/) - WTF? How can everything be a gift? Illness? Homelessness? Abuse? Death, Disaster? I don't understand. Nothing can make these things ok, especially when they are happening to us, to our family. I think the idea of radical gratitude has to do with looking for the gift in the tragedy, in the sadness. I admit, this - [The Wind Phone](https://hellinthehallway.net/2017/10/19/the-wind-phone/) - What is The Wind Phone? When a triple disaster (earthquake, tsunami, nuclear meltdown) hit a coastal Japanese town, many people lost homes, but more importantly, family, friends. In a culture that values, "controlling ones emotions," it can be difficult to process this type of grief. A man set up a telephone booth with a disconnected - [Your Assignment: Should You Choose to Accept It](https://hellinthehallway.net/2017/10/11/your-assignment-should-you-choose-to-accept-it/) - brokenness is necessary for growth, when things get tough, get creative - [Belonging: Part 2](https://hellinthehallway.net/2017/09/15/belonging-part-2/) - Where Do I Belong? In a previous post (Belonging), I talked about our desire to belong. Many of us find our identity and sense of belonging through family, religion, race, and often - location...where we are born, where we live, or our family's country of origin. Humans survived as part of a clan so our - [The Worry Jar](https://hellinthehallway.net/2017/09/07/the-worry-jar/) - "Some things torment us more than they ought; some torment us before they ought; and some torment us when they ought not to torment us at all." Seneca 1st Century Roman Philosopher Who Me? Worry? I used to be in the habit of thinking about all the bad things that might happen. I didn't just - [Unexpect Everything](https://hellinthehallway.net/2017/08/23/unexpect-everything/) - "Anger always comes from frustrated expectations." - Elliott Larson Expectations - Some are Good... When the winter ends and we expect the spring (and it finally comes), it's good. When we work hard and reap the reward of that work, it's good. When we put our trust in someone and that trust is respected, it's - [Uncovering Hope](https://hellinthehallway.net/2017/07/06/uncovering-hope/) - “In three words, I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.” Robert Frost Feeling Lost? Remember you belong here. No matter what anyone says, does, or thinks. You belong here and you are important. You see the world in a special way. The way only you and your genes and experiences - [Falling in Love With Your Imagination](https://hellinthehallway.net/2017/07/13/falling-in-love-with-your-imagination/) - "...imagination is the single most useful tool mankind possesses..." Ursula Le Guin Kids vs. Adults I'll never forget a conversation I overheard between a mother and her young child. The girl was drawing and created a what looked like a green fruit. The child looked proudly at her mom and said, "Look Mommy, I drew - [Decision Criteria - Peace of Mind?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2017/07/26/decision-criteria-peace-of-mind/) - Decision Criteria Most of us make decisions based on a few criteria: a. Our investment - time, money, reputation, effort, relationships - these often form the foundation of which way a decision goes. b. Fear - we may be afraid of doing or not doing something. We imagine all sorts of outcomes, 90% of which - [Free Rent - In My Head](https://hellinthehallway.net/2017/08/08/free-rent-in-my-head/) - Space in My Head When I allow someone to get under my skin, to drive me crazy, I am giving them a big chunk of the space in my brain and a lot of my energy. Sometimes, the person and/or topic is really important and I need to spend time thinking it through. Understanding my - [The "Un" Expectation](https://hellinthehallway.net/2017/06/01/the-un-expectation/) - Some Expectations are Good, They are Spoken When the winter ends and we expect the spring... (and it finally comes) ... it's good. When we work hard and reap the reward of that work... it's good. When we put our trust in someone and that trust is respected, it's good. When we are able to - ["The Comfort of Opinion..."](https://hellinthehallway.net/2017/06/08/the-comfort-of-opinion/) - "Without the Discomfort of Thought" If you are unfamiliar with the man in this drawing, it is John F. Kennedy, our 35th President. This quote struck me as important in the current political/media/social climate. It tells me that having an opinion also requires me to think about what I believe. To examine my beliefs. To - [Are You Loved or Hated, Success Guarantees Both](https://hellinthehallway.net/2016/03/09/3912/) - If you don't know James Altucher, I recommend that you check him out. He's one of my favorite thinkers/truth tellers. I may not agree with everything he says, but I respect his ability to see the world ... and translate reality into words that help me acknowledge changes, even (and especially) when I really don't - [Watching the World Spin](https://hellinthehallway.net/2017/05/25/watching-world-spin/) - Today Is All We Have I was walking the other day and I happened to look up at the clouds. I noticed, for the first time in a long time, that the clouds were moving... well the clouds weren't moving, the earth was! Such a simple thing, it happens every minute, of every day... the - [Give to Get... Why Networking Works](https://hellinthehallway.net/2008/12/26/give-to-get-why-networking-works/) - Even if you just started your job search, you can start doing something immediately to improve your odds of finding a new (and usually better) job. Help other people who are looking for work. You can find your peers at local networking groups. Here in Rochester we have the August Group and many more. How - [And now for something completely different - Companies are hiring!](https://hellinthehallway.net/2009/02/11/12/) - Looking for good news in a sea of glop, please read this yahoo article on companies that are hiring. Yikes, hiring? http://hotjobs.yahoo.com/hj100-articles-hotjobs100-1. Even you do not want to relocate, you might see something or get an idea of a local company that could provide services to one of these national companies. Rule #1 - go - [You Can't Always Get What You Want.....](https://hellinthehallway.net/2009/04/13/you-cant-always-get-what-you-want/) - But if you try sometimes, you get what you need...The Rolling Stones rarely got it wrong (Keith Richards?) and there is a great message in this song for all of us today. I'm focusing on what I have instead of what I want. For today, I have what I need: health, family, friends, a place - [When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Get Confidence.... 7 Ways to Help Yourself Get Hired](https://hellinthehallway.net/2009/04/23/when-the-going-gets-tough-the-tough-get-confidence-7-ways-to-help-yourself-get-hired/) - Confidence - most of us have it in varying degrees. What qualities make you appear self-assured and confident? The adjectives vary, but "resourceful" and "accomplished" come to mind. How you present yourself matters: your posture, clothes and the way you speak. Here are some things to think about: 1. See yourself as the answer to - [Getting Strong Now (Hear the Rocky theme playing?)](https://hellinthehallway.net/2009/04/27/getting-strong-now-hear-the-rocky-theme-playing/) - Let Rocky Show Us the Way Well, we don't have to beat up slabs of beef but staying upbeat is important for job seekers. Sad sacks, like Winnie the Pooh's Eeyore (http://www.just-pooh.com/eeyore.html) turn off potential employers. The ups and downs can be rough on us and those around us. Taking good care of ourselves is - [Want to be the Director of Wine Studies at a College?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2009/05/01/want-to-be-the-director-of-wine-studies-at-a-college/) - Sometimes I see a job and say, "Wow, what would I need to do to qualify for a job like that?" My son went to Cornell and took a wine tasting class in his senior year. The professor's preparation must be fun! The point is...how can I decide what I want and go after it. - [Are You a Tree or a Bird?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2009/05/04/are-you-a-tree-or-a-bird/) - Looking out the window this morning, I saw a goldfinch fly by pines, beeches and oaks and I thought, 'Am I a tree or a bird?' A tree has deep roots, stands tall and observes. A bird flits around seeing new things. At first I thought I was a bird. Big picture is my style. - [Best Career Strategies 2009 - 26 Ways To a More Effective Job Search](https://hellinthehallway.net/2009/05/13/best-career-strategies-2009-30-strategies-for-doing-it-better/) - A few years ago, standard advice for a job seeker would have included: get a degree or spiff up your resume. I found a report that is a compilation of suggestions from various individuals about the NEW job search and how to really take a new approach to landing in this hyper-competitive job market. Their - [Joyfully Jobless](https://hellinthehallway.net/2009/05/21/joyfully-jobless/) - To love what you do and feel that it matters, how could anything else be more fun? Katherine Graham What would it take for you to be joyfully jobless? Think about it for a minute. Would $500,000 do it? Have you thought about being an entrepreneur? Have you wondered what it would be like to - [Twitter for Job Hunters](https://hellinthehallway.net/2009/05/26/twitter-for-job-hunters/) - What the heck is twitter? Twitter is a way to talk and listen to a variety of people online. Think of it as a cocktail party. You talk to one person, and then move on to someone else. Ok, but how does this help the person looking for a job? Let's take a look. 1) - [Surprise? Find Yourself Online](https://hellinthehallway.net/2009/06/02/surprise-find-yourself-online/) - I consider myself moderately savvy when it comes to social media. Several months ago, I went to check my name online to see what potential employers would find. I put my name into Google and guess what I found, one of my daughter's pages. She had named it after me thinking that no one would - ["What Was I Thinking When I Put That on My Resume?"](https://hellinthehallway.net/2009/06/15/what-was-i-thinking-when-i-put-that-on-my-resume/) - My friend asked me to review her online presence. She is new to the job market so I started by looking at her resume. She was using an AOL email address. In my world, even 5+ years ago, AOL was for people who had technophobia. In 2009, a dated or inappropriate email address is a - [The "Greater-Than-Yourself" Project](https://hellinthehallway.net/2009/06/27/greater-than-yourself-project/) - Do you know your greatest strengths and weaknesses? Have you written these down so you can really think about what you have to offer the people around you? If you have, you may be ready to participate in a special project. The "Greater than Yourself" project, founded by Steve Farber, is a way we can - ["Crazy Busy" - Remembering the Value of a Smile](https://hellinthehallway.net/2009/07/07/face-to-face-meetings/) - I'm not an early adopter of technology. Left to my own devices, I'd probably still have a rotary phone. Many social media people are early adopters and I'm grateful to them. These tech pioneers have made my life infinitely easier on many fronts. When it comes to the working world however, I've made my adjustments: - [Why Fishy Handshakes Stink. What Your Handshake Says About You.](https://hellinthehallway.net/2009/07/15/business-etiquette/) - Your challenge today is to think about how you shake hands. I know, you're thinking, oh brother, she must be hard up for a post. No, not at all. The next 5 times you shake hands, think about what you're doing. We all know that the initial impression we make on people is critical to - [Fall Down, Make a Mess and Occasionally, Break Something](https://hellinthehallway.net/2009/07/26/178/) - When's the last time you truly made a mess? When's the last time you failed at something? Having trouble thinking of something? Read on. I recently came across a blog post called, "25 Life Lessons for My Daughter." I liked it so much I sent it to several of my friends. The author, MetroDad, offers - [Twitter for Job Seekers - The Movie! Ok, Not Really,The Audio.](https://hellinthehallway.net/2009/07/31/twitter-for-job-seekers-the-movie-ok-not-reallythe-audio/) - Yesterday my interview with Twooting.com about using Twitter for job searching aired via an internet stream. Many people listen to internet radio and sites like Live360.com provide listeners with a way to find cool radio stations. Twooting.com bills itself as the "Daily Podcast All About Twitter." If you are interested in social media, Twooting.com is - [Simply Irresistible - Show Them How Great You Really Are](https://hellinthehallway.net/2009/08/10/using-a-bio-to-highlight-skills-and-interests/) - I'm always surprised when I ask a person who's been working professionally for 15+ years if they have a bio and they say, "No, I've never needed one" or "I'm not sure what I'd use it for." Stable employment can breed complacency. If there is a silver lining to our current unemployment situation it is - [Lost in Job Search Land? The New 'Career Navigator' Program Will Help You Find Your Way](https://hellinthehallway.net/2009/08/19/lost-in-job-search-land-the-new-career-navigator-program-will-help-you-find-your-way/) - Something new is cooking in Rochester to help people looking for work. It's the Career Navigator program currently being offered by Rochester Works and is sponsored by the United Way, Finger Lakes Wired and others. Our own Career Sherpa, Hannah Morgan is one of the driving forces behind this project. This 5 day training program - [The Power of a Handwritten Note](https://hellinthehallway.net/2009/08/25/the-power-of-a-handwritten-note/) - When was the last time you received a hand written thank you note? I just received one from the students of a class I was teaching. It meant a lot to me and I still have it in my kitchen. This is one way can we humanize an increasingly digital world. In a previous post, - [Making a Difference - The Summer of Social Good](https://hellinthehallway.net/2009/08/31/making-a-difference-the-summer-of-social-good/) - I had the privilege to attend the Social Good Conference in New York City sponsored by social media leader Mashable.com. About 150 people gathered at the 92nd street YMCA to listen to some of top names in social media talk about the intersection of 'social' and 'good'. Highlights included: Oxfam talked about their partnership with - [How to Stand Out in Roomful of Ordinaries](https://hellinthehallway.net/2009/09/08/how-to-stand-out-in-roomful-of-ordinaries/) - I am always looking for inspiration and thankfully, I never have to look far to find it. Today, I came across this video. The guy's name is Chris Bliss. He's a juggler. "Yawn," you say, "a juggler. Does he jump on a trampoline and juggle chain saws? If not, I've probably already seen it." Chris - [Are You a Dinosaur in the Making? Pay Attention to How You Learn.](https://hellinthehallway.net/2009/09/13/are-you-a-dinosaur-in-the-making-pay-attention-to-how-you-learn/) - "Show me a company that's been in business for 50 years and I'll show you a company on its way out of business," said management guru Peter Drucker in the 1980's. Twenty-five years and a host of Fortune 50 companies later, we see that Mr. Drucker was right. His theory was that big companies get - [The Bozo Explosion - How To Be an A+ Candidate](https://hellinthehallway.net/2009/09/20/the-bozo-explosion-how-to-be-an-a-candidate/) - I just read a blog post from Guy Kawasaki called, "The Art of Recruiting" (2006). In it, Guy talks about how the idea of "A" players hiring other "A" players and "B" players hiring "C" players. His conclusion is that "A" players actually need to hire "A+" players; candidates better than themselves. While "it takes - [God Bless America (Ain't She Sweet?)](https://hellinthehallway.net/2009/09/29/god-bless-america-aint-she-sweet/) - This weekend I had the privilege of teaching Social Media for Job Hunters in New York City. As always, my students inspired me. I have made this presentation to nearly 1,500 people so far, mostly here in Upstate New York and this group was different from a typical session here because: It was multicultural - - [Twitter's Not Stupid If You Follow Smart People](https://hellinthehallway.net/2009/10/05/twitters-not-stupid-if-you-follow-smart-people/) - I hear it over and over, "Twitter is stupid." When some people find out I teach social media they tell me how dumb twitter is. They know almost nothing about twitter and have never even seen it, yet they are convinced (based on something they've read or heard) that it's a waste of time. When - [What do Lucy, Ulysses S. Grant and Michael Jordan Have in Common?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2009/10/13/what-do-lucy-ulysses-s-grant-and-michael-jordan-have-in-common/) - You might wonder what Lucille Ball, Michael Jordan, Ulysses S. Grant and the Beatles have in common. They were all thought to be failures. Lucy's high school theater teacher thought she was too shy, Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team and Grant failed so many times that, at 38, he finally - [Shopping for a New Boss?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2009/10/20/shopping-for-a-new-boss/) - Once upon a job, I had a great boss. She was the first female boss I'd ever had and she taught me a great deal about being a good manager. She taught me to listen and how to stay focused on an objective. She showed me how to help a team reach difficult goals and - [Need a Completely Different Career?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2009/10/31/need-a-completely-different-career/) - Ask yourself the following questions: What do I hate? What do I love? What do I never want to do again? If I could do only one thing all day, what would it be? In a job hunt, every day can seem the same and 'selling yourself' can become boring. So how do we get - ["When I Drink Alone, I Prefer to be By Myself"*](https://hellinthehallway.net/2009/11/09/when-i-drink-alone-i-prefer-to-be-by-myself/) - I recently attended a local TEDx (Technology, Entertainment, Design) event. TED's focus is stimulating thinking and innovation by bringing together speakers and an audience from as many divergent fields as possible. A perfect networking opportunity. I showed up by myself. Why? Because while I am uncomfortable walking into this room full of hundreds of people - [Job Hunting is Cool](https://hellinthehallway.net/2009/11/17/job-hunting-is-cool/) - When we lose our jobs, most of us go into 'deer in the headlights' mode. Even if we know it's coming, we still freak out. For those of us who are actively managing the change; the emotional transition, while difficult, doesn't slow us down. For those who choose, and yes I use the word choose, - [The Upside of a Downside (Hunting for Tax Deductions*)](https://hellinthehallway.net/2009/11/23/the-upside-of-a-downside-hunting-for-tax-deductions/) - It may not seem like an upside but you may find some comfort in carefully reviewing what you can and can not deduct from your taxes as a result of your job search. With a few weeks left before the end of the year, now is the time to review items for possible deductions. Gathering - [The Gift of Giving: Changing How & What We Give](https://hellinthehallway.net/2009/12/01/the-gift-of-giving-changing-how-what-we-give/) - My 'twenty-somethings' were home for Thanksgiving. We had a wonderful time eating and playing with the dogs. We talked about all kinds of things including how we want to celebrate the Christmas holiday this year. We decided that we were not going to buy any gifts for each other and we were all happy about - [You're Doing It Right - The Lemonade Movement](https://hellinthehallway.net/2009/12/08/youre-doing-it-right-the-lemonade-movement/) - There's a new movie coming out called the Lemonade Movement. Lemonade Movie. I don't know much about it except that I watched this video trailer for it and found it inspirational. The clip shows people who have lost their jobs who are now doing new, fun and fulfilling work. Not what they planned on... but - [Ok, Now That's Funny (Did You Really Say That During an Interview?)](https://hellinthehallway.net/2009/12/15/ok-now-thats-funny-did-you-really-say-that-during-an-interview/) - Tis' the season to need a laugh and here you go. This link will take you to stories of things that people have said in job interviews. They simply couldn't have made them up. To tell a funny interview story on myself; I once called an executive by the wrong name (his name was Leo - [Why is This A Great Place to Work?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2009/12/22/why-is-this-a-great-place-to-work/) - This is my favorite question to ask when I'm interviewing for a job. I say, "I'm looking for a great place to work. Why is Xyz Company a great place to work?" The range of responses is revealing. Some hiring managers have already answered this question in the way they talk about their work, their - [I'm Mad As Hell And I'm not Going to Take it Out On You Anymore!](https://hellinthehallway.net/2009/12/29/im-mad-as-hell-and-im-not-going-to-take-it-out-on-you-anymore/) - "You do not have to be good," is a line from a poem by Mary Oliver (Wild Geese). When I first read that line I was shocked. Growing up an Irish Catholic in Boston (yes, home of the Puritans), I learned early in life that 'being good' was required. Over the years, I learned that - ["We're Letting You Go" - What to Do Next](https://hellinthehallway.net/2010/01/04/were-letting-you-go-what-to-do-next/) - "We're letting you go." For those of us who have heard these words, just reading them in can make us wince. The new George Clooney movie, Up in the Air, is about being let go. I recommend it to anyone who's in transition. (Grab a friend and head to a matinee; you'll be glad you - [Linked In - the Eggplant That Ate Chicago](https://hellinthehallway.net/2010/01/18/linked-in-the-eggplant-that-ate-chicago/) - I like Linked In. I think it has done a lot of things right and I appreciate all the forward thinking people who have created this terrific tool. Everything in social media is changing all the time and while it makes it challenging for us to stay on top of those changes, it's logical because - [Dinosaur Unite! Use Some Resume Botox...](https://hellinthehallway.net/2010/01/26/dinosaur-unite-use-some-resume-botox/) - "Those young people are stealing our jobs!" Someone actually said this to me recently. My jaw almost hit the floor when they did. In the current game of 'let's find some income'; this is dangerous thinking. In fact, anytime we engage in 'I want to win and I want you to lose' thinking, the likelihood - [Work As Collaboration - Freelancers Please Apply](https://hellinthehallway.net/2010/02/04/work-as-collaboration-freelancers-please-apply-3/) - I've already had three careers. I was a foreign language teacher, then I was an information consultant and now I work in marketing. These changes were my choice and a natural progression of my interests. For many of us, the way we have worked in the past has changed. Most of us will no longer - [Why Writing Well Is So Important](https://hellinthehallway.net/2010/02/22/why-writing-well-is-so-important/) - It's really funny that I continue to write this blog about job hunting because I am no longer looking for a job, I have my own company. I think it' s funny because I am not an expert; just someone who's been through it and who learned a lot. I like to write and so - [Virtual Vocations-There's No Place Like Home](https://hellinthehallway.net/2010/03/02/virtual-vocations-theres-no-place-like-home/) - For those who haven't quite come to grips with the fact that work is changing (forever), perhaps this blog post will change your point of view. Virtual Vocations has 2239 open positions posted. This list consists of jobs that companies are hiring where employees will work from home: VP Engineering HL7 Integration/Interface Engineers Software Engineers - [Mobs of Jobs - Job Hunting on Twitter](https://hellinthehallway.net/2010/03/10/mobs-of-jobs-job-hunting-on-twitter/) - I teach social media for job hunters several times a month and meet lots of great people. When I talk about twitter, I often hear, "Twitter's stupid." If you don't need a job and think twitter is stupid you can stop reading right now. If you have an open mind, you might be very surprised - [You're Either a List Person or You're Not, Right?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2010/03/24/youre-either-a-list-person-or-youre-not-right/) - There's a new book out called The Checklist Manifesto written by a general surgeon at the Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston. I wondered why a book about checklists had been on the NY Times best seller list for 5 months. I'm a list person. When my kids were small, I lived by lists. Somedays, - [Change is Good](https://hellinthehallway.net/2010/04/13/change-is-good/) - One of my favorite sayings is "Change is good, timing is everything and patience is the key." While I like it, I also hate it. Change is hard. Growing up, my family moved around a lot so I got very good at making new friends and adapting to new situations. I had more success being - [Pay Attention Or You Might Miss Something Very Cool](https://hellinthehallway.net/2010/04/20/pay-attention-or-you-might-miss-something-very-cool/) - Look at this picture carefully. Notice something about the rider? Inspiration is all around us if we pay attention. I liked this blog post from a bike rider http://kevinliebl.wordpress.com/2009/12/06/inspiration/. What's great about this story is that while the author comes across inspiration unexpectedly, as we often do, he fully appreciates what he's observed and that's - [The Only Question (Almost) You Need to Ask in a Job Interview](https://hellinthehallway.net/2010/04/27/the-only-question-almost-you-need-to-ask-in-a-job-interview/) - You've got the interview. Great. Your suit is pressed and you've done your research. You've practiced answering tough questions like: What is your greatest weakness? Explain how you handled a difficult person at work Discuss a failure you had and how you managed to turn it around Phew. Ok, you're ready. Here's one more idea. - [What? I Can't Hear You (I'm Not Listening)](https://hellinthehallway.net/2010/05/06/what-i-cant-hear-you-im-not-listening/) - I learned this week that the number one skill that the worker of the future will need is active listening. You know, the skill where you actually pay attention to what the other person says. It's says a lot about modern living that the number one skill we'll need is something "soft", not technological and - [Don't Try Harder, Try Different](https://hellinthehallway.net/2010/05/19/dont-try-harder-try-different/) - "Don't try harder, try different" is one of my favorite sayings. I remind myself of this thought often. The saying used to be "work smarter, not harder" but when I'm stuck, I'm not always sure what would be 'smarter'. This saying reminds me to ASK someone for their ideas so I can get unstuck. I - [Take a Look at Yourself... Is It Time For A Change?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2010/05/26/take-a-look-at-yourself-is-it-time-for-a-change/) - "If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make that change..." Man in the Mirror, M. Jackson When we're employed, we get up, drive to our jobs, interact with our colleagues and go home. We enjoy our work (or not) and put in long hours. We meet our - [Just For Today](https://hellinthehallway.net/2010/06/17/just-for-today/) - There's a poem I think about often titled Just for Today. There are some terrific ideas here to combat the grind of daily living whether we are looking for a work or going to a job every day. Just for today I will be happy. This assumes what Abraham Lincoln said: 'Most folks are about - [Walking on a Tightrope](https://hellinthehallway.net/2010/06/23/walking-on-a-tightrope/) - I recently started reading a new blog by Joshua Blankenship. The post that turned me on Whose You Do You Want To Be? If you have talent, there will always be someone telling you how to use it. Talent is in short supply, and smart people always have a vision for how you should use - [Are you a 21st Century Leader?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2010/06/29/are-you-a-21st-century-leader/) - I came across this excellent article called 20 Questions Determine a Brain's Leadership Fate. The questions made me stop and think about my own leadership and whether I am adapting. Check these out: 1. What solution did you rock lately? 2. When did you last thank a bloke? (Yes, written by someone who's English is - [Unemployed Are Not Being Considered for Some Open Positions - #Fail](https://hellinthehallway.net/2010/07/07/unemployed-are-not-being-considered-for-some-open-positions-fail/) - A disturbing trend in recruiting involves employers not even considering the resume of someone who is unemployed. Here's the text from a recent job ad: "Will not consider/review anyone's resume who is NOT currently employed -- regardless of the reason." The company who posted the ad believes that it's better for them to get a - [Never Judge a Book By It's Cover... The #1 Networking Rule](https://hellinthehallway.net/2010/07/14/never-judge-a-book-by-its-cover-the-1-networking-rule/) - Here's a cool little video that describes why there's no place for snobbery in networking. In case you don't have a chance to watch it, the person tells the story of a pink pantsuited, bracelet-jangling big haired blond who comes into a networking room where the marketing executive looks down on her... only to find - [Let's Face It; It's All About Sales](https://hellinthehallway.net/2010/07/26/lets-face-it-its-all-about-sales/) - It's career day at your (or your child's) high school or college. Who is likely to be giving the talks? I'll bet it'll be professions like medicine, law and business management. How often do those career days include someone from sales? I'd venture to say almost never. But truthfully, most of us spend a lot - [Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf, Sheep, Wolf, Sheep?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2010/08/18/whos-afraid-of-the-big-bad-wolf-sheep-wolf-sheep/) - Is social media good or evil? A boon to democracy or a complete invasion of our privacy? I can give you excellent examples of each. Everyday, people tell me how wonderful/stupid Facebook and Twitter are. What's interesting is that the people with the least knowledge are the ones with the strongest opinions. I ask my - [What Makes a Good Entrepreneur?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2010/09/01/what-makes-a-good-entrepreneur/) - I personally have started 2 businesses and am currently helping another one get cooking right now. While it's an almost overwhelming amount of work, I enjoy it the challenge of creating something from nothing. As a SCORE volunteer (part of the Small Business Administration), I meet a lot of wonderful people who have great ideas. - [Kicking Human Resources to the Curb](https://hellinthehallway.net/2010/09/21/kicking-human-resources-to-the-curb/) - Last week I gave two presentations at the New York State Society for Human Resources Management conference and I met people from all kinds of organizations, all of them hungry to understand how social media is affecting their business. It's clear that these professionals, like most of us, have a love hate relationship with social - [Wasting Your Life Trying to Make a Living](https://hellinthehallway.net/2010/10/01/wasting-your-life-trying-to-make-a-living/) - So we hear a lot of blah, blah about doing what you love and following your passion. Great you say, but Ive got bills to pay and kids to feed. Well, we can go around whining about our job/having no job, sucky boss/having no boss and as the song goes, 'wishin' and hopin', plannin' and - [The Power of Two](https://hellinthehallway.net/2010/10/11/the-power-of-two/) - I have a friend who talks about the power of two. One person can make a huge difference in the lives of many people. However, 2 people, joined in purpose and intent, can move mountains. I believe that the way that we work, play and innovate is undergoing a revolution and social media/web 2.0 are - [500 Jobs a Minute Added to Twitter](https://hellinthehallway.net/2010/10/26/500-jobs-a-minute-added-to-twitter/) - I regularly talk to groups about social media and there are still a surprising number of people who insist that Twitter is stupid. They know nothing about it, they've never used it, but they are certain it's useless. They are like this dog. Asleep. As I go through my talk, inevitably the most vocal opponent - [Tell Me About Your Biggest Weakness (You Loser)](https://hellinthehallway.net/2010/11/09/tell-me-about-your-biggest-weakness-you-loser/) - Recently I was helping someone prepare for an important interview by asking her all kinds of questions. One that caught her flatfooted was, "Tell me about one of your weaknesses." Arghhh. Who's prepared to answer that stupid question? You could try: -- "I'm a know-it-all perfectionist and I need to be in charge." -- "People - [Do Not Read This. Especially Today.](https://hellinthehallway.net/2010/11/11/do-not-read-this-especially-today/) - Every morning I fill the kettle and boil water, get out my Aunt Dorothy's big china mug and brew myself a cup of tea. As it's brewing, I often think of Brits in WWII who used the same teabag over and over. As I stand there, dipping the bag, I think of how grateful I - [Job Search - Going Mobile!](https://hellinthehallway.net/2010/11/18/job-search-going-mobile/) - Wow, I knew a lot of things were moving to the mobile space but job hunting? Check out this image of mobile screens from Starbucks. Yes, attention folks; phones are for a lot more than games and email. Before you dismiss this as "not for jobs like the one I'm looking for'", please check out - [Insultant for Hire](https://hellinthehallway.net/2010/12/07/insultant-for-hire/) - "A society that gets rid of all its troublemakers goes downhill." Robert A. Heinlein I've been a consultant for many years and there's good and bad in the work. The good thing is flexibility, the bad thing is when there's not much work or a client is looking for a rubber stamp approval and I - [Wanted-Old Dog Looking to Learn New Tricks: Reverse Mentorship](https://hellinthehallway.net/2010/12/15/wanted-old-dog-looking-to-learn-new-tricks-reverse-mentorship/) - There are 2 kinds of households - those that have a teenager at home who can help with the computers and those that don't (OK, there are some households that have an adult that understands technology but they don't count!) Many of us don't see the world through the filter of a connected/electronic world. We - [This Could Be Your Kid...or Better Yet...You](https://hellinthehallway.net/2010/12/21/this-could-be-your-kid-or-better-yet-you/) - People tell me they hate getting older. Me - I love it. I care less and less about what people think and have the joy of watching uptight people freak out over the smallest things in life. If you haven't checked out awkwardfamilyphotos.com yet, please do. If you're not sure where to begin, just go - [They Call It "Social" Media for a Reason](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/01/06/they-call-it-social-media-for-a-reason/) - I'm tired of hearing people say they don't want to use social media because they don't want to know every detail of someone else's life. Well, if this were true, celebrity magazines wouldn't exist; neither would soap operas or the 21st century version, reality TV. So I thought I gently remind everyone that it's precisely - [Google Interview Question: "How Many Basketball[s] Can You Fit in This Room?"](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/01/12/google-interview-question-how-many-basketballs-can-you-fit-in-this-room/) - In the only question you need to ask in an interview we talked about asking questions. Now I'm encouraging you to think about how you answer questions and talk with your interviewer. And I do mean talking with them. In 25 Oddball Interview Questions, the author lists interesting interview questions from companies like Google, Goldman - [Ugly People Need Not Apply](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/01/19/ugly-people-need-not-apply/) - Previously we talked about not judging people by their looks in networking. The one person whose style or approach seems unappealing - maybe the one who can help you the most. You know the saying about minds and parachutes... they work best when they're open. Now research is throwing a monkey wrench into our long - [The Gods Must Be Crazy or Maybe I Am](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/01/25/the-gods-must-be-crazy-or-maybe-i-am/) - At Reputation.com you can pay the company to 'manage' your online reputation. Hmmm. This strikes me as very odd. Now I realize that there can be circumstances when a person may need to have some help in "fixing" things online. Everything from an old school photo to an errant rant might need to be managed. - [Brother Can You Spare a Dime?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/02/02/brother-can-you-spare-a-dime/) - I enjoy meeting new people and helping them succeed. I understand the importance of networking and when I ask someone to meet me; I offer to buy them a cup of coffee. Two dollars is a small investment to show someone that I appreciate their time. I am grateful that I have the time and - [I'm Great; Even When I Stink](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/02/10/im-great-even-when-i-stink/) - Humility is interesting. I saw Adam Sandler being interviewed on television. Even if you don't like him or his movies, I think he's a good example of how a combination of self confidence and humility can create success. Adam told a story about when he was first starting out in stand up. While the audience - [We're All Teachers (and Students). Everyday.](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/02/17/were-all-teachers-and-students-everyday/) - I enjoy teaching because I love that moment when I see my students nodding their heads. Eureka, they are getting it! Light bulbs are going off! It's a great feeling. But even more importantly, my students always teach me so much; about myself and the world (as they see it!) If we are parents with - [Are You CEO Material?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/02/23/are-you-ceo-material/) - A lot of us think if only I were in charge... things would be different. I'd make this happen; I wouldn't let that happen. We're sure we could do better. But the truth is that if you've ever been responsible for the livelihoods of other people, you know that it's not easy. If you are - [Let's Play Jeopardy! Answer: A Dental Hygiene Tool?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/03/02/lets-play-jeopardy-answer-a-dental-hygiene-tool/) - Ok, today we're playing jeopardy. I'm giving you the question: What is Quora? -- A tool for improving dental hygiene? -- A movie about the attack on Pearl Harbor in WWII? -- An element of new math? -- A supplement guaranteed to help you lose 50 pounds in 3 weeks? Give up? If I told - [Are You A Scary Job Seeker?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/03/10/are-you-a-scary-job-seeker/) - There are 3 types of job seekers that scare recruiters (oh yeah, and clients/customers too). Maybe you are one of these and don't realize it. Maybe you are: - The Tasmanian Devil (The Stalker): over zealous applier to jobs and obsessive 'check on the position that I applied for' person - The Lion (The Ego): - [Three Little Words](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/03/17/three-little-words/) - There was a blog called "In 3 words" that would pose a question and then ask people to submit their three word response. A typical question was: "What's the last thing that made you want to tear your hair out? " -- which elicited responses like, 'my older daughter' and 'bosses bad day'. One of - [Low Hanging Fruit -- It Might Be Rotten](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/03/23/low-hanging-fruit-it-might-be-rotten/) - There are a growing number of career development communities. Check out this article that highlights 5 different sites. Four of them I am familiar with: Linked In, Beyond.com, Monster Career Advice Forum and Glassdoor. Beyond and Monster can be particularly helpful if you are looking to switch careers. I really like glassdoor because you can - [Job Boards: Why We Need Them](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/03/31/job-boards-why-we-need-them/) - I talk to job seekers who think that job boards are useless. I tell them that for years I have had an automated job search running; whether I had a job or not. Why? Because: - You never know when you might need a job OR help someone else find a job. - You can - [Brother Can You Spare A Dime? Part 2](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/04/08/brother-can-you-spare-a-dime-part-2/) - This week I had the privilege of helping someone who decided to change his life. Doesn't matter the circumstances; what matters is that the person reached out and took help when it was offered. We all find ourselves in situations where we need to ask for help. Does my pride prevent me from getting help - [Words With Friends...A Whole New World](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/04/14/words-with-friends-a-whole-new-world/) - I used to sit in an airport or restaurant and watch people (usually young) messing with their phones. I couldn't imagine what they were doing! My device world consisted of a palm pilot and blackberry before I moved away from corporate America so what did I know about a smart phone? My sister would carry - [The Coming Battle for Talented Employees](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/04/22/the-coming-battle-for-talented-employees/) - It may be hard to believe but many Human Resource professionals are gearing up their recruiting efforts. While the economy isn't exactly humming, the job market is heating up and companies are actively looking for 'bench strength.' In a 2010 survey titled, Job Seeker Nation, it was reported that we are rapidly becoming a nation - ["If You Don't Like Change, You're Going to Like Irrelevancy Even Less"](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/04/27/if-you-dont-like-change-youre-going-to-like-irrelevancy-even-less/) - "If you don't risk anything, you risk even more..." Erica Jong Last week I made a presentation to the Western NY chapter of the Product Development Management Association (PDMA) on how Social Media is radically changing the world of product development. I have been working on the ideas for this presentation and getting to know - [Stop Whining and Find a Job on Twitter](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/05/04/stop-whining-and-find-a-job-on-twitter/) - It's hard for me to believe that every time I talk to a group of job hunters about social media, there are still a lot of people who think Twitter is stupid.They're certain twitter is dumb and announce it to the whole room. If they want to think it's stupid that's OK by me. But - [What Were U Thinking? Hmm... Maybe U Weren't](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/05/10/what-were-u-thinking-hmm-maybe-u-werent/) - Yesterday I was with a new client who told me a story. As a CEO, he attends meetings of the Executive Council of the local chamber of commerce. This group of high level execs meets once a month to share information. The discussion of the day centered around social media and how companies were handling - [You're Awesome, Now Be Awesomer](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/05/18/youre-awesome-now-be-awesomer/) - You're pretty cool. You've worked hard, you're a nice person. So, are you where you want to be? Sometimes we get so caught up in day to day living that we forget that we have the power to change ourselves. We have everything justified in our minds about why we can't change, why things aren't - [No Fishy Handshakes Please](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/05/24/no-fishy-handshakes-please/) - Last week I was speaking at a big event and had the pleasure of meeting many people. I was, however, unhappily struck by the number of people who don't realize the negative impression of their fishy handshake. What do I mean by a 'fishy' handshake? Well, when you offer just the fingers of your hand - [What the CEO Would Ask You In An Interview...](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/06/01/what-the-ceo-would-ask-you-in-an-interview/) - CEO's aren't always the smartest people in the room but they have earned the right to be heard. I recently read an interview with Barry Salzberg, the CEO of Deloitte and liked his comments about hiring. People who are looking for work or want to successfully interview for their next position may benefit from his - [Pay Me To Interview, Pay Me to Work.](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/06/08/pay-me-to-interview-pay-me-to-work/) - Oh my but the world of job search is changing in so many ways, I feel like my head is going to explode. This article, "How Real Time Web Changes Job Search,"is jammed full of ideas, websites and concepts relating to job search. If you are in HR or looking for work; you need to - [Got A Role Model? I Do... My Aunt Dorothy](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/06/16/got-a-role-model-i-do-my-aunt-dorothy/) - I had the good luck of being born into the family of Dorothy Fitzgerald. She was my great aunt but I considered her my grandmother. She lived at home until 3 months before she passed away at the age of 99. Here she is in Gloucester, Mass. in 1929. She was a working woman (she - [One Last (Excellent) Interview Question](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/06/22/one-last-excellent-interview-question/) - People in transition are at different stops along the "finding work again" route. What stage are you: denial, anger, why me, who cares, yikes I need money, holy smokes why didn't keep up my network, this is cool, etc. Do you think of this as an opportunity or are you fighting it? You have a - [Getting (Or Staying) Creative](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/06/28/getting-or-staying-creative/) - Creativity is like soap. Just when you've got it in your hands and it feels good - it slips away. Many people don't understand that creativity needs to be nurtured; others think that creativity is just for "artists." Creativity is an important component of a happy life. It doesn't matter whether it's in the kitchen, - [Networking 101: Who Do You Want to Meet?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/07/06/networking-101-who-do-you-want-to-meet/) - When I speak locally, there are usually a few people who come up and ask to connect with me. It may take a while but I try to meet everyone who asks me. I like meeting new people and it helps me reach my goal of meeting 5+ new people a week. Do you have - [Would You Flunk A Social Media Background Check? Part 1](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/07/12/would-you-flunk-a-social-media-background-check-part-1/) - I talk to job seekers about the power of social in their search. Most people embrace it at some level. Others tell me how stupid it is. That's cool, do it however you want! However, the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) helped to change that in May when it gave a background checking company, Social Intelligence, - [Would You Flunk A Social Media Background Check? Part 2](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/07/25/would-you-flunk-a-social-media-background-check-part-2/) - Last week we talked about what the regulators are doing. Now I'm going to share some real sad but true stories from the social realm. You may or may not agree with the decisions described here but that's not the point. What's important is to understand that --this is reality. I have heard each of - [Oh Those 20 Somethings... um 50 Somethings](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/08/04/oh-those-20-somethings-um-50-somethings/) - Stereotypes are not usually helpful. In some cases, however, examining our own attitudes about them may teach us some important lessons. Executives teams often complain to me about their 20-something (Millenials- born between 1980 - 1995) employees. They claim they are: - Obsessed by their phones, lazy, distracted, self-absorbed and entitled I don't happen to - [Insanely Cool Resumes](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/08/10/insanely-cool-resumes/) - Ok, you need to have a resume if you are looking for a job and all those things the 'experts' tell you about resumes are true. -Tailor your resume to the job -Don't ANNOUNCE that you are dinosaur (older like me) or just out of school But you don't have to use the same old - [The Start Up of You - All Dogs Gotta Learn New Tricks](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/08/16/the-start-up-of-you-all-dogs-gotta-learn-new-tricks/) - Can we all agree that the whole job search/career thing has changed, um completely? If you happen to have one of those jobs (academia?) that isn't changing...well, just hold on to your hats; your time is coming. For the rest of us, whether we are 25, 40 or 55...we are wondering what to do. This - [Stupid Is As Stupid Does](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/08/23/stupid-is-as-stupid-does/) - The saddest and trickiest part about discrimination is that many people (myself included) are not aware when we're engaging in it. This distinguishes us from the people who are simply bigots and don't care. In both cases, however, if you are the 'discriminee' it doesn't really matter. In this ad for Nivea skin products, the - [What The World Needs Now... Connection](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/08/30/what-the-world-needs-now-connection/) - "We systematically overestimate the value of access to information and underestimate the value of access to each other." C. Shirky I admire Clay Shirky. Not because he's smart or because he's at MIT but because he has common, human sense. When I speak to groups about Social Media, I work hard to make sure that - [(Other) Stuff to Do While You Look for Work... You Lucky Dog](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/09/06/other-stuff-to-do-while-you-look-for-work-you-lucky-dog/) - When I was on unemployment, I was really happy. Don't get me wrong, I love having my own business but getting paid to meet people, learn new things, think about my potential, help people and so on was great. If you are unemployed, do you see yourself as lucky? Are you having fun? Are you - [Go Ask Alice - She Followed Directions...](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/09/16/go-ask-alice-she-followed-directions/) - The world of marketing is full of musts. You must tell the story, you must use a powerful image, blah, blah, blah. Well, one must that many people ignore is the 'CALL TO ACTION'. Yes, that's right. Once a customer comes to your website, store, whatever... you need to tell them what you want them - [Then: Get Thee to a Classroom -- Now: the Teacher is Waiting...Online](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/09/20/then-get-thee-to-a-classroom-now-the-teacher-is-waiting-online/) - Ok, I'm an old dog and everyday, I have to learn new tricks. I don't like it but... I like to eat so... Here are I a few things that work for me. -- I read Mashable everyday. A daily news brief that talks about tech in business. --I use Tweetdeck/Seesmic (Twitter application) to search - [Spectacular Failure - An Aspiration](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/09/27/spectacular-failure-an-aspiration/) - When was the last time you had a spectacular failure? I don't mean "oops"--- I mean whoa, that did not work out the way I thought. No one likes failure -- BUT, I know if I'm not occasionally failing and -- failing fast, then I'm not taking enough risk. Most of the good stuff in - [Saying No, Graciously... Tonic for the OverCommitted](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/10/06/saying-no-graciously-tonic-for-the-overcommitted/) - My grandmother taught me to say (with a big smile), "Not today but try me tomorrow" when I was turning down an offer. I thought she was crazy but... she was teaching me to please others. And so I thought I needed to say yes in order to be liked. Fortunately, I got over that. - [From Uh-Oh to Aha!](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/10/12/from-uh-oh-to-aha/) - Whether you are employed, unemployed or self-employed, one thing is clear; this country needs jobs. If you are someone who lost your job (uh-oh) and then started a company (a-ha!) then you, like me, are part of an exciting national trend. I am an entrepreneur-- in year 2 of my second start up. While it - [Well, You Still Need to Wear Pants...](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/10/20/well-you-still-need-to-wear-pants/) - Do you believe the world of work has changed forever? I do. Whatever the root cause of our unemployment issues; big companies will no longer create the majority of our new jobs; small and mediums-sized companies will. And many more people will work for themselves or freelance. The stereotype of a freelancer is a geek - [Why Less is More](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/10/25/why-less-is-more/) - In a world of specialization and customization, it's hard to imagine that less would be more. On the other hand, there is so much NOISE - so many messages, topics, blogs, channels, tools - it's all a little exhausting. So what can we take away from the new Ivory soap campaign that reminds us of - [Know Thyself and Carry a Big (Flexible)Toolkit](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/11/02/know-thyself-and-carry-a-big-flexibletoolkit/) - "The whole is more than the sum of its parts." Aristotle The more we know ourselves, the better team mate we are. Why? Because we can be both firm and flexible and put the team's objectives at the top of the list while tending to our own emotional needs. A mature team is one that - [Interview Question... How Weird Are You?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/11/09/interview-question-how-weird-are-you/) - Maybe you've heard of a company called Zappos. In 1999, they began selling shoes on the Internet. I remember thinking... no one will buy shoes online. I was wrong! In less than 10 years, Zappos hit $1Billion in sales. What's even more amazing about Zappos is their culture. It begins and ends with customer service. - [New Executive Title - "Custserv/HR/Mktg/IT" Leader](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/11/17/new-executive-title-custservhrmktgit-leader/) - Functions in the workplace are converging. Social media is jumbling responsibilities at the enterprise at an alarming rate. Let's take twitter for example. You may know the online shoe retailer Zappos.com - they make a big deal out of using technology to give customers what they want and need 24 x 7. This is NOT - [True Grit and the Marshmallow Test](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/11/29/true-grit-and-the-marshmallow-test/) - When my daughter was in college, her softball team's t-shirts had this saying on the back... "Hard work beats talent when talent refuses to work hard." So while this title's post may sound like 70's rock band, it is, in fact, the core of some research on the future of work. In "The Future of - [Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. Progress Not Perfection.](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/12/07/stay-hungry-stay-foolish-progress-not-perfection/) - If a beaver really thought about all the work it would take to build a new home (dam), (s)he might never start. But since the need, desire and drive to build are innate... he doesn't stop before he starts. Somewhere along the way, human beings, who start out curious and driven (just watch a baby - [No Thanks, I Don't Want to Work For You...](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/12/13/no-thanks-i-dont-want-to-work-for-you/) - A 30-something is in the middle of a job interview. The hiring manager is excited about the young man sitting in front of him. From the hiring manager's point of view, the interview is going very well. He has laid out the requirements, is satisfied that the candidate has good qualifications and equally as important, - [The Gig Economy...You Know You Want to Hear Me Sing](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/12/20/the-gig-economy-you-know-you-want-to-hear-me-sing/) - Ok, so the gig economy doesn't have anything to do with singing. In an excellent article in the Atlantic titled, "The Freelance Surge is the Industrial Revolution of Our Time," we learn that the gig economy describes the way work is changing. Freelancers rule! Here's a summary..."Today, careers consist of piecing together various types of - [The Stupidification of American Adults](https://hellinthehallway.net/2011/12/29/the-stupidification-of-american-adults/) - Pretty soon dolphins will be smarter than people. Look at this picture, a dolphin has learned how to use a laptop. Everywhere I go I see babies and small children using iPads. I hear so much whining from baby boomers about technology. I was recently in a meeting and a woman declared with great pride, - [I'm Telling Mom...No One Likes a TattleTale](https://hellinthehallway.net/2012/01/04/im-telling-mom-no-one-likes-a-tattletale/) - No one likes a tattletale. Well, unless the information is valuable. So when you are looking for a new job (exciting and terrifying), information about a prospective employer can be priceless. The way it used to be -Do you remember the old boys network'? I do. Because I'm a girl (and an old one at - [Shopping for a New Boss](https://hellinthehallway.net/2012/01/17/shopping-for-a-new-boss-2/) - About 15 years into my career I figured out that WHO I worked for was as important as what I was doing for work. So when it came to looking for a new job, my search became about looking for a great person to work for. This may sound crazy; particularly in this tight job - [Success = Complacency. Antidote = Urgency](https://hellinthehallway.net/2012/01/31/success-complacency-antidote-urgency/) - Billy Joel has song called Second Wind...here are some lyrics, "We're only human, we're supposed to make mistakes --So take it from me you'll learn more from your accidents-- Than anything that you could ever learn at school" The reality is that we reward people who are 'successful' and think that 'failure' is bad. If - [Who's Your Customer? It's Not Who You Think...](https://hellinthehallway.net/2012/02/07/whos-your-customer-its-not-who-you-think/) - A lot is written about discovering who your customer is and how to find them. A new blog post by Seth Godin, titled, "Who is Your Customer?" sheds light on this in a whole new way. Instead of thinking about customers as a group of people, think about the one, two or three people who - [Go That Way Really Fast...](https://hellinthehallway.net/2012/02/16/go-that-way-really-fast/) - Famous movie line from John Cusack in Better Off Dead: ""Go that way... really fast. If something gets in your way... turn" When we're in transition (new job, no job, marriage, divorce, new baby, etc.) we get lots of advice from well-meaning friends and family members. They usually suggest taking time to asses all your - [Enter and Sign In Please... The Goal of the Resume is...](https://hellinthehallway.net/2012/02/23/enter-and-sign-in-please-the-goal-of-the-resume-is/) - What do Alfred Hitchcock and Frank Zappa have in common (besides leading the weird (awesome) train?) They both appeared on an old television show called, What's My Line. The premise of the show was that a panel of people would try to guess what a person did for a living. So imagine, you're on the - [Be Bold and Great Forces Will Assist You](https://hellinthehallway.net/2012/03/01/be-bold-and-great-forces-will-assist-you/) - Each of us has something important to do in this life. I believe that with all my heart. When I say important, I don't mean big... I mean significant. These are 2 very different things. The cool part is that each of us gets to find it. No one else can tell us what it - [Stop Using Facebook](https://hellinthehallway.net/2012/03/06/stop-using-facebook/) - I'm a capitalist and an entrepreneur and respect people who start businesses. What I don't like are businesses that take advantage of customers. In the world of Free (think Facebook (FB), Google, Twitter, etc.) are services really free? I have been teaching social media for about 3 years and have heard 100's of FB stories. - [Balance Yourself Not Your "Work/Life"](https://hellinthehallway.net/2012/03/15/balance-yourself-not-your-worklife/) - When I was a young mother (back in the last century), there was a lot of talk about work/life balance and how "women" needed to work harder to 'find' it. The only thing I needed to find was a few hours sleep and someone else to - [March Madness: Let There Be Inspiration](https://hellinthehallway.net/2012/03/29/march-madness-let-there-be-inspiration/) - Maya Moore, you probably have never heard of her. In basketball circles, people smile when they hear her name. UConn Bball. There's madness all around. Not just in basketball circles but in education, science, art. Here's one example: --- Education... have you heard of Khan Academy? They were just highlighted on national television. Their mission: - [Blogs, Frogs and Dogs](https://hellinthehallway.net/2012/04/04/blogs-frogs-and-dogs/) - How many blogs do you read? Do you know what an RSS feed is? If not, think of it as an inbox. A virtual inbox where you send information that you want to read later on. Google reader is a good tool (RSS) for managing electronic information. I send the posts from about 40 different - [6 seconds = How Long Your Resume Gets Looked At...](https://hellinthehallway.net/2012/04/11/6-seconds-how-long-a-your-resume-gets-looked-at/) - Have you ever been on the hiring side of a resume? It's not fun. You often feel like this guy. Overwhelmed by 'paper' and buzzwords that don't tell you anything. Before you spend more time and get more opinions about your resume, check out this article, "How Recruiters See Your Resume..." Take a look at - [How to Ruin that Face to Face Meeting You Worked So Hard to Get!](https://hellinthehallway.net/2012/04/24/how-to-ruin-that-face-to-face-meeting-you-worked-so-hard-to-get/) - This week I had a couple of meetings like I do almost every week. (Do you meet between 2-5 new people a week?) First -- the good meeting! One was with a guy I met who has been unemployed for about a year for the first time in his career. I met him briefly after - [The Kids Are Lazy, Self Absorbed, Difficult](https://hellinthehallway.net/2012/05/02/the-kids-are-lazy-self-absorbed-difficult/) - This is what I heard in 1969 when I sat with 150 other young people outside a public building to protest the war in Vietnam. My friends and loved ones were fighting and I felt I had to take action. Whether I was right or wrong in my beliefs; I was speaking up. It was - [Help, I'm a Millenial Trapped in a Baby Boomer Body!](https://hellinthehallway.net/2012/05/11/help-im-a-millenial-trapped-in-a-baby-boomer-body/) - This past week, I had the fun of being a mentor for the first Rochester Start Up Weekend. Start Up Weekend is an international non profit organization that helps communities run a weekend 'create a company' marathon. In 54 hours, teams work to build a company idea. By Sunday night, the teams pitch their company - [Shake, Rattle and Tweet](https://hellinthehallway.net/2012/05/16/shake-rattle-and-tweet/) - I like twitter. I use it for both business and personal purposes. I know, you're shaking your head right now and wondering how I have time to fool around on twitter. If you are interested in a great twitter tutorial... check out Charlene Kingston's free eBook, Twitter for Beginners. You do need to register to - [Look, I Fell Down!](https://hellinthehallway.net/2012/05/23/look-i-fell-down/) - I'm fortunate to have 3 grandchildren under the age of 4 and yes, it's as fun as everyone says. There's joy in watching them grow but there's also a BIG LESSON. Here it is... They fail... a lot. And they do it with a big smile. They fall down, the say words wrong, they make - [Giving Begins at Work](https://hellinthehallway.net/2012/05/31/giving-begins-at-work/) - Many of us are happy to give -- a little. As long as we're not the ones who have to organize it, pull it together, deliver it... whatever. Most of us are happy to give generously - by our definition. Small sacrifices. Winston Churchill's quote encourages us to recognize that we give because it feels - [Stuck in the Middle with Me](https://hellinthehallway.net/2012/06/08/stuck-in-the-middle-with-me/) - Do you know when you're stuck? Sometimes it takes me a while. But when I'm crankier (than usual), finding fault in the people I love over small things, am afraid to try new things and so on... I realize that I'm stuck. Here are a few things to think about... You're not the only person - [Under the Influence](https://hellinthehallway.net/2012/06/12/under-the-influence/) - Choices, do you have too many or not enough? People without food, homes, jobs, health. self-respect, family, etc. don't have many choices. Most of us have a ton of choices (like the cereal aisle - 100 kinds of cereal - really?) We're so invested in our comfort and conformity that we literally say... we have - [Guerrilla Hiring (Not Hiring Guerillas)](https://hellinthehallway.net/2012/06/20/guerrilla-hiring-not-hiring-guerillas/) - I often talk with job hunters, HR folks and recruiters about how hiring continues to evolve; think mobile/social recruiting. When I read this post about a woman who recently applied to, interviewed for and landed a job in less than a week; I was amazed (job on east coast and she lived on the west - [Seek and You Shall Find](https://hellinthehallway.net/2012/06/29/seek-and-you-shall-find/) - People often ask me about my career. The details are not as important as my attitude towards work. I believed I could shape my career to what I wanted and what my family needed. The "rules" were meant to be bent... Background -- started out as a French and German teacher, earned an MLS (yes, - [The "Skate to Where the Puck's Going To Be" Career Management Philosophy](https://hellinthehallway.net/2012/07/05/the-skate-to-where-the-pucks-going-to-be-career-management-philosophy/) - Recently I came across an article titled, "7 Jobs You Never Heard of and Why They're Awesome," e.g. futurist, greensman (not keeping the putting green nice..) and parabolic expert. Do you think these sounds silly? Think again. It might seem odd to remember elevator or telephone operators, but what about travel agents, department store clerks - [Embrace Disruption](https://hellinthehallway.net/2012/07/11/embrace-disruption/) - I've decided there 3 kinds of people... those who are very afraid of change (about 25%), those who create and embrace change (about 25%) and those who are willing to change if they have to (um yeah, 50%). Which are you? Be honest... the most important thing is to understand yourself and then build on - [Feedback: Electric, Real-Time, Nasty or True](https://hellinthehallway.net/2012/07/17/feedback-electric-real-time-nasty-or-true/) - I work with companies on multi-generational workplace issues because I heard so many complaints about the "younger generation's" poor "communication" skills. Gen Y employees may be different in many ways other from other generations; but that doesn't mean they're bad or wrong -- they're just different. One common complaint I hear is that younger employees - [Why Would Anyone Go into Sales?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2012/07/24/why-would-anyone-go-into-sales/) - Why don't we teach high school kids about sales as a profession? ...because it doesn't have the cache of doctor or lawyer -- but truthfully, more of us will go into sales than will be doctors or lawyers and doctors and lawyers need to be sales people too. I's a great way to make a - [Kerploppi and Other Old Friends](https://hellinthehallway.net/2012/08/02/kerploppi-and-other-friends/) - My kids favorite book was Professor Wormbog's Gloomy Kerploppus. What did they love? the silly pictures? the way I did the voices of the various characters? or simply the comfort of snuggling and reading the same story over and over - completely predictable in an unpredictable world. As children we are naturally attracted to what - [10 Steps to A Happy Life](https://hellinthehallway.net/2012/08/07/10-steps-to-a-happy-life/) - These steps are based on my years of experience of doing it wrong; so I have it on excellent authority... my own happiness... that if you follow these steps ... you may not be ecstatic..but you will be in a a better place. 1. Sit quietly for 5 minutes a day 2. Stop whining (you - [Yawn, I'm Comfortable With Who I Am](https://hellinthehallway.net/2012/08/17/yawn-im-comfortable-with-who-i-am/) - For those of us who have a 'good' job; one that we've been in for several years - we're probably feeling a combination of smugness - "well, I haven't had to go through all that so I must be really good" and relief - "thank goodness I haven't had to look for a new job, - [Digital Natives vs. Digital Immigrants - The War is Over](https://hellinthehallway.net/2012/08/23/digital-natives-vs-digital-immigrants-the-war-is-over/) - At work, the war between the kids (20 somethings) and the old people (50 somethings) is over. The kids have won. For those of you who think this isn't true, let's consider the facts. -- The workplace is officially BYOD - Bring Your Own Device... in a short 5 years the IT department has gone - [Is Job Hunting Really Just Sales?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2012/08/30/is-job-hunting-really-just-sales/) - If you are successful in sales, you've either had training or you've learned what works through trial and error . For the rest of us (90%!), we don't really have any idea how to sell. Sure,we may have personal communication strengths that make us more or less persuasive, but without training, we're flying blind. As - [The Beauty of Portion Control...In All Parts of Our Lives](https://hellinthehallway.net/2012/09/06/the-beauty-of-portion-control-in-all-parts-of-our-lives/) - I'm a fan of old movies, particularly black and whites. I love the acting, the clothes and the funny old telephones, no computers etc. But one thing really stands out... When they're eating and drinking... the plates and glasses are really SMALL. Compared to what we use now, they look like toys. I'm struck by - [Everything I Know About Life... I (Re)learned from My Puppy](https://hellinthehallway.net/2012/09/13/everything-i-know-about-life-i-relearned-from-my-puppy/) - People close to me... ok, my husband and my daughter specifically... told me I should get a dog. "You love dogs... you'll really enjoy having a the unconditional love.... they're so much fun!" They said it to me often enough and I finally relented and here she is. Her name is Gildie (means 'celebration' in - [9 Deadly Sins of Job Hunting](https://hellinthehallway.net/2012/09/14/9-deadly-sins-of-job-hunting/) - Ok, these may not be deadly but they can slow down your search. Take care of these and your search will go smoothly because you'll be building relationships and learning during your entire search. You may not want to address these issues... but you'll be glad you did. I borrowed some of these from 7 - [Are You a Risk-Taking, Risk-Tolerant or Risk-Averse Person?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2012/09/27/are-you-a-risk-taking-risk-tolerant-or-risk-averse-person/) - Most of us would agree that surfing can be a dangerous sport, yet lots of people -- all over the world-- surf. Why? The reasons are complex but the psychology boils down to -- how much risk are we willing to take in our daily life? Some of it is related to our personality and - [Ditch Your Dress Code and Other Interesting Advice](https://hellinthehallway.net/2012/10/02/ditch-your-dress-code-and-other-interesting-advice/) - I am a child of the 60's; a hippie and a non-conformist. I worked in Corporate America for over 2 decades. I enjoyed it and I learned so much. What I didn't love was figuring out what to wear. First... there's no such thing as business casual for women. As much as I'd like to - [The Facebook Nightmare - Lost Job Opportunities...](https://hellinthehallway.net/2012/10/17/the-facebook-nightmare-lost-job-opportunities/) - Anyone who reads my blog knows that I have a very healthy skepticism of Facebook. I am not alone. We have 3 grandchildren under the age of 5; 2 are "on" Facebook, 1 is not. I support a parent's right either way. But I also know how much joy and connection Facebook brings to so - [Building the Brand of You: Portrait of an Expert](https://hellinthehallway.net/2012/10/24/building-the-brand-of-you-portrait-of-an-expert/) - So imagine you are a the only person of your race in a world full of money, power and prestige. Now imagine that through your talent and pure force of will... that you build an impeccable career and reputation. What would it take for you to overcome all the odds against you? Some reading this, - [Looking for a New Career? Try it Before You Jump](https://hellinthehallway.net/2012/11/01/looking-for-a-new-career-try-it-before-you-jump/) - I hate shopping and particularly trying stuff on. Ugh. But if I didn't try it on... I'd buy a bunch of stuff that doesn't fit. Since we know that people of all ages will need to change careers more often than in the past --- how are we going to know if we like the - [How Fair is Your Pay? 5 Steps to Getting Your Share](https://hellinthehallway.net/2012/11/28/how-fair-is-your-pay-5-steps-to-getting-your-share/) - This pretty picture has nothing to do with fair pay... but it is an inspiring, life affirming photo. I want to inspire you to make sure you get what you want from your life. Not tomorrow, not next week, not next year. Today. It is, after all, all we have. When I read this article - [Life's Like a Ten-Speed Bike...](https://hellinthehallway.net/2012/12/13/lifes-like-a-ten-speed-bike/) - "Life is like a ten-speed bike... most of us have gears we've never tried." Charles Schulz (creator of Charlie Brown comics) I've led a rather colorful life. I had the advantage of growing up in a difficult family environment. Why do I consider that an advantage? Because I can empathize with people -- in fact - [5 Things to Stop Doing - Right Now!](https://hellinthehallway.net/2012/12/19/5-things-to-stop-doing-right-now/) - Are you ready to get on with the challenges that you face in your life? Your mouth says yes but your attitude and body language are saying no. Now let me give you and me credit... we are doing a lot of hard stuff, everyday. Good for us. However, we live better than 95% of - [Long Haired Freaks Need Not Apply (Then), Tatooed Workers Need Not Apply (Now)](https://hellinthehallway.net/2013/01/12/long-haired-freaks-need-not-apply-then-tatooed-workers-need-not-apply-now/) - In the world of work there is a lot of discrimination. Yup, I said it out loud. Not the kind that can be legislated or regulated against but bad nevertheless. In the 1960's it was long hair, today, it's 'body art." In a recent article titled, "Top personal attributes employers hate about you;" piercings and - [What Is The Stupidest Thing That Could Possibly Work?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2013/01/30/what-is-the-stupidest-thing-that-could-possibly-work/) - There's that line from the movie Forest Gump... "stupid is as stupid does" ... well, there's stupid and then there's bravely awesome. Clay Shirky, one of my favorite authors, says... "My motto for 2013, adapted from Agile Programming precepts = What Is The Stupidest Thing That Could Possibly Work?" One of the reasons we keep - [Don't Follow Your Passion and Other Good Advice](https://hellinthehallway.net/2013/03/06/dont-follow-your-passion-and-other-good-advice/) - Career advice 101... follow your passion. Blah, blah, blah. My passion changes and what's more.. there's not much money in my passion for eating chocolate. So I am pleased to introduce you to Cal Newport's new book, So Good They Can't Ignore You. Cal is very smart young man who at the start of his - [Judgement is Easy, Integrity is Hard](https://hellinthehallway.net/2013/03/22/judgement-is-easy-integrity-is-hard/) - This week I had the privilege of meeting a woman who has battled the forces of judgment and sadness with grace. She also has translated the difficulties of her life into beautiful art. The journey of integrity is often a very lonely road. Principles are expensive; financially, psychologically and physically. During our conversation, I was - [You've Come A Long Way Baby...](https://hellinthehallway.net/2013/04/03/youve-come-a-long-way-baby/) - This is a photo (1909) showing what a woman might dress like as a police officer. The first female police 'woman' was sworn in September 1910. When you realize that it's only been 5 generations since we brought the female voice and presence to law enforcement in this country, is it any wonder that women - [Be a Great Negotiator in 5 Easy Steps](https://hellinthehallway.net/2013/04/09/be-a-great-negotiator-in-5-easy-steps/) - We all learned to negotiate as children. Depending on who we learned from, we either learned that success meant win - win or win- lose. Competition is healthy and there are occasions where one needs to 'win.' The Olympics -- for instance. That's not a negotiation, that's a competition. We do refer to the other - [Find Your "Zone of Genius"](https://hellinthehallway.net/2013/04/17/find-your-zone-of-genius/) - Do you think you are an interesting person? In her book, How to Be More Interesting in 10 Steps Jessica Hagy shows us direct ways to enhance our "interestingness" (my word). Here's my suggestion. Get a piece of paper... rate yourself on a scale from 1 to 10 (with 1 being no way and 10 - [Know Thyself and All That Jazz](https://hellinthehallway.net/2013/04/24/know-thyself-and-all-that-jazz/) - How do others see me? I mean really see me? How closely do you think your self knowledge matches what other think about you? If you are familiar with the Johari Window - the diagram shows us that each of us has parts of ourselves that others can see that we can't. The goal however, - [Tweet That Job: Recruiters Love Twitter, Do You?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2013/05/02/tweet-that-job-recruiters-love-twitter-do-you/) - If you are a job hunter and you are not using twitter, perhaps you want to think again. Why? Check out this article, Top 5 Twitter Apps for Recruiters. If you're one of those people who still thinks twitter is stupid, then skip this post. If your mind is open, keep reading. If recruiters need - [10 Blogs I Love...Learning and Laughing](https://hellinthehallway.net/2013/05/09/10-blogs-i-love-learning-and-laughing/) - One big difference between adults and kids is their attitude towards learning. Kids just go with the flow. They seek out new ideas and adventures. As adults, most of us are pretty complacent. This is normal, but not good. One way to keep learning while keeping up with all our daily responsibilities is to read - [Wait, No Goals? No Goals At All?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2013/05/14/wait-no-goals-no-goals-at-all/) - Not only am I a Capricorn... yes, the goat (the one who will climb up a mountain without hands) but I am also a super achiever. I think only doing two things at once is slacking. So when I came across this article, Achieving Without Goals, I was skeptical to say the least. I like - [It's a Defined Contribution World - Are You Ready?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2013/05/24/its-a-defined-contribution-world-are-you-ready/) - [(More) New Tools for Managing Your Career - Are You Tired Yet?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2013/05/30/more-new-tools-for-managing-your-career-are-you-tired-yet/) - [Career Advice: Give](https://hellinthehallway.net/2013/06/13/career-advice-give/) - [Be Weak Like Water (Or Is That Strong Like Water?)](https://hellinthehallway.net/2013/06/27/be-weak-like-water-or-is-that-strong-like-water/) - [Because Every Job is "Temporary"...Confidence is Key](https://hellinthehallway.net/2013/07/13/because-every-job-is-temporary-confidence-is-key/) - [The Most Important LinkedIn Page You've Never Seen...](https://hellinthehallway.net/2013/07/30/the-most-important-linkedin-page-youve-never-seen/) - LinkedIn (LI) is my favorite social site. Why? Because they built a 'professional' social site that truly adds value. Initially, LI gave users something valuable.. an electronic Rolodex. The site helped us understand to increase the value of our already valuable connections (and gave us tools to use them more effectively). In my recent post, - [Selling Ugly is Never Pretty](https://hellinthehallway.net/2013/08/12/sell-ugly/) - "When you have to sell ugly, sell the result." ** You know the expression, "a face only a mother could love"? This little piggy is beautiful in her mother's eyes. The good news is, we're all beautiful to someone. "Selling ugly" means selling something that, on the surface... doesn't seem great. Selling sexy is easy; - [Build A Good Name...](https://hellinthehallway.net/2013/08/22/build-a-good-name/) - "Build a good name. Keep your name clean. Don't make compromises, don't worry about making a bunch of money or being successful - be concerned with doing good work and make the right choices and protect your work. And if you build a good name, eventually, that name will be its own currency." Who wrote - [You Asked For It... (Or Not)](https://hellinthehallway.net/2013/08/29/you-asked-for-it-or-not/) - The number one most common mistake at a job interview is: failing to ask for the job* WOW! Imagine if this is true. I took a few moments to think about how many times I wanted something-- and walked away wondering why I didn't get it and guess what I realized, more often than not, - [Tuko Pajoma](https://hellinthehallway.net/2013/09/05/tuko-pajoma/) - I have one special gift, I have a good 'ear'...I can't sing ...but I can recognize and imitate sounds. This is why I studied languages in college. I started taking French in 3rd grade and then studied German and Spanish in college. I loved learning about culture through understanding the language. I had a chance - [Trapped In A Job You Hate? Find Work You Love](https://hellinthehallway.net/2013/09/11/trapped-in-a-job-you-hate-find-work-you-love/) - I like Entrepreneur magazine because it's so full of fire and promise. If you hate your job... I understand. I've been there and I admit, I stayed too long reasons we all have... a family to provide for, paying my mortgage, etc. Boring, real-life responsibilities. But and this is a big BUT... we can take - [Living for Today... and Tomorrow](https://hellinthehallway.net/2013/09/11/living-for-today-and-tomorrow/) - My aha career moments... here are two. 1) I had been working in corporate America (a Fortune 25 company) when I got pregnant with my first child. I realized that if I was going to create the 'life' I wanted, I was going to have to figure out how to work part time. There were - [Become a Connoisseur of Your Mistakes](https://hellinthehallway.net/2013/09/25/become-a-connoisseur-of-your-mistakes/) - "The chief trick to making good mistakes is not to hide them - especially not from yourself. Instead of turning away in denial, ... you should become a connoisseur of your own mistakes, turning them over in your mind as if they were works of art, which, in a way they are." Daniel Dennet Many - [Got Your Six](https://hellinthehallway.net/2013/10/08/got-your-six/) - I just learned about this... Got Your Six. In the military when someone tells you that they've "Got Your 6," it means they're watching your back. This post is about 2 things: 1) Who's back do you have and who's got your back? 2) What are you doing to help our Veterans who are returning - [Why Grit, Not IQ, Predicts Success](https://hellinthehallway.net/2013/10/16/why-grit-not-iq-predicts-success/) - I am thinking of two mid-30's business leaders. One went to Yale and had a lot of advantages in life. He's good looking in an Abercrombie kind of way, soccer star... you know the type. The other is also good looking (by that same standard) and athletic. He has a degree from a state school. - [Finishing: Be First or Last... But Finish](https://hellinthehallway.net/2013/10/30/finishing-be-first-or-last-but-finish/) - "You have to finish things ... you learn by finishing things." Neil Gaiman When I think of all the projects I have started and never finished... it's a little embarrassing. There was a point in my life when I tried a lot of different creative endeavors; basket weaving (really, really hard), Ukrainian eye dying (maddening), - [The Case For Joy](https://hellinthehallway.net/2017/05/18/the-case-for-joy/) - What Happened to Joy? I take my dog places and she is such a bundle of happiness and excitement that many people comment on how much she loves life. She bounces up and down, licks hands, and is basically ready to play at any moment. People are genuinely entranced by her sense of joy. I've - [Self Confidence - Hard to Come By?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2017/05/10/self-confidence-hard-come/) - I'm Afraid, That's Why I Won't Do... It only makes sense that if we're afraid, we're probably NOT going to do something. Unless we are one of those adventure-hungry people, we're likely to avoid things we consider too risky. Now deciding what is 'too risky' is personal. There's a leap of faith in entering a - [What's the Question?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2017/05/03/whats-the-question/) - I Once Was Lost Do you feel lost sometimes? Truthfully, I've spent most of life feeling 'other.' I like how Anne Lamott describes it: "There are times in our lives --- scary, unsettling times --- when we know that we need help or answers but we're not sure what kind, or even what the problem - [Short Skirts and Bra Straps](https://hellinthehallway.net/2017/04/20/short-skirts-bra-straps/) - Acceptable Dress I was waiting in line at the grocery store the other day and the 2 women in front of me were wearing shirts with bra straps showing. I was thinking, at what point in the last few years did it become "acceptable" to show your bra straps? I'm old so I remember the - [Picking Your Friends](https://hellinthehallway.net/2017/04/12/picking-your-friends/) - Picking Your Friends? How do you pick your friends? Because I'm old and have had the chance to meet a lot of people, I probably have a big database in my head and heart that tells me who to trust. I'm not saying that my judgement (database) is better than anyone else's, I'm just saying - [A Walk Before Breakfast](https://hellinthehallway.net/2017/04/06/a-walk-before-breakfast/) - Comfort Everyday, I test to see how comfortable I am. Seems kind of odd right? I'm human, of course I am looking for comfort. But being fully human means going beyond your own comfort, to do things we may not want to do... for all kinds of reasons. Some of us wait until we are - [Diversify Your Life](https://hellinthehallway.net/2017/03/08/diversify-your-life/) - But I Like My Life The Way It Is Some people love change. They're always creating, running around; they make the rest of us look boring. They need change in order to feel alive. Think of people you know who love to travel and meet new people. For them, the excitement of not knowing what - [The Case for "Abby Normal"](https://hellinthehallway.net/2017/03/03/case-abby-normal/) - Who is Abby Normal? In one of my favorite movies, Young Frankenstein, the lab assistant (Igor), has to steal a brain from another lab (for Frankenstein's monster). Igor makes a mistake and takes a jar marked.. 'abnormal' brain. When confronted, Igor says that the name on the jar was, Abby Normal. Watch the clip Normal - [Destination = A New Way of Seeing](https://hellinthehallway.net/2017/02/22/destination-new-way-seeing/) - "One's destination is never a place but a new way of seeing things." Henry Miller Where Am I Going? Many people see life as a series of destinations. Go to school, get married, have kids... like items on a checklist, we move on to the next destination without thinking much about the alternatives. In fact, - [Small Things, Great Things](https://hellinthehallway.net/2017/02/16/small-things-great-things/) - All Things, Great and Small When we are young, we are told that the decisions we make on things like, getting good grades or which college we go to, are the biggest decisions of our lives. The pressure to make the "right decision" is tremendous. Certainly in light of the cost of college and the - [Belonging](https://hellinthehallway.net/2017/02/06/belonging/) - Where Do I Belong? Belonging... as humans, we have an innate desire to belong, to be a part of something. And yet many of us don't like to be part of a group. For whatever reason: the need for independence, the fear of rejection.. we find it difficult to assimilate. There are origin stories... stories - [The Whys Have It](https://hellinthehallway.net/2017/01/27/the-whys-have-it/) - But Why? I am visiting my 2 year old (soon to be 3) granddaughter. If you have kids, you know what happens around their third birthday... everything becomes, why? And not just single, why is that? but a continuing stream of whys. Once I answer the first why, it is often followed by 4,5, or - [Never Try to Up Sell an Unhappy Customer](https://hellinthehallway.net/2017/01/20/never-try-sell-unhappy-customer/) - But I'm Not Wrong! So, you've had a problem with someone. Your spouse, your customer, your kids... anyone. And now you need something from them. But you don't want to apologize because: You didn't do anything wrong You don't like to apologize You're sick and tired of taking other people's crap The other person was - [Holidays, Vacations, Life as We Know It](https://hellinthehallway.net/2017/01/13/holidays-vacations-life-know/) - Holidays and Vacations I took a vacation from the blog. Not on purpose, it just happened. I've been writing this blog off and on since 2008. So when one week turned into two turned into six... I realized that in addition to I celebrating the holidays, I was also taking a vacation; from my regular - [If I'm Talking, I'm Not Learning](https://hellinthehallway.net/2016/12/01/im-talking-im-not-learning/) - "But there ain't no point in talking when there's nobody listening..." Rod Stewart Listening as Learning I need to remind myself that learning to listen to others is one of the keys to a happy life. It's a skill I have never 'mastered' and never will. The act of making the effort to learn to - [No Boss, No Office and My Peers Decide My Pay... What?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2013/11/06/no-boss-no-office-and-my-peers-decide-my-pay-what/) - "Imagine a company where everyone is equal and managers don't exist. A place where employees sit where they want, choose what to work on and decide each other's pay. Then, once a year, everyone goes on holiday together." There is such a company, it's called Valve. For those of you who think this is: stupid, - [How The Light Gets In](https://hellinthehallway.net/2016/11/23/how-the-light-gets-in/) - Judgement as Separator It easy to find fault. To judge. To say that others are wrong. It's harder to see their point of view. It takes commitment, energy, patience, compassion, and strength. If we see the crack as 'brokeness', then we'll forever be trying to 'fix' it. If we see the crack as a way - [The Case for Doing Nothing](https://hellinthehallway.net/2016/11/17/the-case-for-doing-nothing/) - Plans for the Weekend? When someone asks me what my plans are for the weekend, I often answer.. nothing. In fact, my goal is to have nothing to do. My other answer is... "my goal is to do less, and then do less than that." The Cult of Productivity If this doesn't make sense to - [Irritation: A First World Problem](https://hellinthehallway.net/2016/11/09/irritation-first-world-problem/) - "Irritation is a privilege. It's the least useful emotion and... it's a choice." Seth Godin Heebie Geebies I have been irritable lately. I noticed that I was being short with people, interrupting them, feeling jumpy... but I didn't know why. I read this excellent blog post from Seth Godin "On Being Irritated," and I made - [A Reputation Is A Terrible Thing To Waste](https://hellinthehallway.net/2016/11/02/reputation-terrible-thing-waste/) - First Impressions Matter: In Person? Online? Your reputation has as much impact on your life as what you actually do. Early assumptions about you are sticky and are difficult to change. The single best way to maintain your reputation is to do things you're proud of. Seth Godin Modern Living and Your Reputation You may - [The Return on Investment of Reading](https://hellinthehallway.net/2016/10/26/return-investment-reading/) - Why Should I Read Books? In the age of Twitter (and I love Twitter), the time and energy for reading books is shrinking. Especially the kind of books that help us grow our businesses. Isn't it easier to read 'articles', blog posts (yeah, like this one!) or your favorite business news source? Here's what goes - [Body McBody Face](https://hellinthehallway.net/2016/10/19/body-mcbody-face/) - The Body We're Born With I am very fortunate to have been born with a smaller frame with a higher metabolism. These two gifts allowed me to go through most of my life being relatively 'thin', which in American culture is considered 'good.' We can blame 'the media' for all the emphasis on beauty and - [Strength is Elastic (Not Steel)](https://hellinthehallway.net/2016/10/13/strength-is-elastic-not-steel/) - Do you equate strength with the following? Loud Brusque Aggressive Reluctance to "give in" Authoritative Fast talking/Quick witted Unemotional If you do, I ask you to think carefully about your definition of strength. Real strength has flexibility and resilience. Think of the power of water... it is powerful in it's own way. Think of people - [Skeptic or Cynic?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2016/10/04/skepticorcynic/) - We are "in dire need of stewardship and protection from cynicism. The best defense against it is vigorous, intelligent, sincere hope, bolstered by critical thinking that is clear-headed." Maria Popova With our presidential election weeks away, I hear people talk about how they hate the two party candidates... that they are not going to vote, - [Walk Through The Fire](https://hellinthehallway.net/2016/09/28/walk-through-the-fire/) - "There are times when those eyes inside your brain stare back at you." Charles Bukowski, What Matters Most is How Well You Walk Through the Fire I don't know about you, but I spend way too much time in my head. I think about what other people are doing, why they're doing it. I let - [Change Sucks](https://hellinthehallway.net/2016/09/21/change-sucks/) - "The best way out is always through." Robert Frost Change Sucks Ok, so I'm going along in my life... things are okay, not terrible. Then all of a sudden (well it's seems sudden), things fall apart. What the heck happened. I didn't change! They did! I didn't do anything wrong, they did! Why did they - [The Sugar In My Gum](https://hellinthehallway.net/2016/09/14/the-sugar-in-my-gum/) - How Sweet It Is When you put a new piece of gum in your mouth, the sugar is so delicious, right? After a while, the gum gets stiff and the flavor dulls but we love how sweet the sugar tastes in that first minute. Chasing the Sweetness We spend a lot of our lives chasing - [I Hate Networking](https://hellinthehallway.net/2016/09/02/i-hate-networking/) - Strangers are Strange If I never attend another networking event in my life, I'd be happy. But modern living (and working) requires meeting people. Why do I hate networking? Is it because... I don't like people? No, I like people. I have to make 'small' talk? No, I figured out that if you ask a - [Crashes and Rebounds](https://hellinthehallway.net/2016/08/26/crashes-and-rebounds/) - The Crash On Tuesday, I flew from my home in NY to Los Angeles, on the way there, my computer hard drive crashed. So now I'm away from home, with a dead computer. I'm not going home for 3 weeks. The first thing is not to panic. Right after I panicked...I started making phone calls...to - [Discipline is Freedom](https://hellinthehallway.net/2016/08/04/discipline-is-freedom/) - "There is no dignity quite so impressive, and no independence quite so important, as living within your means" Calvin Coolidge Modern Living Living within your means... in other words... not spending more than you earn... is important. Many of us don't live this way. If we did, we wouldn't have statistics like this. Source: Value - [Ignorance is a Choice](https://hellinthehallway.net/2016/07/29/ignorance-is-a-choice/) - The Ugh-ly Truth We live in interesting times. We have to work hard to keep up with the way the world is changing. Some of it we like. Some of it we don't. We may have very good reasons why we won't accept this change or that different way of thinking, doing or being. But - [Easy To Be Hard](https://hellinthehallway.net/2016/07/21/easy-to-be-hard/) - But... I've come to realize that it's actually easier to be hard and cynical, than it is to be helpful and thoughtful. When I have a new idea, I've learned not to share it with many people because I know the kind of reaction I'm going to get, especially from those who don't like risk. - [Do What You Say](https://hellinthehallway.net/2016/07/13/say-say-mean/) - Short Rant I must be getting old. I notice more and more that people say they'll do things and then they don't do them. Argh. When I was younger, I ran myself ragged trying to do all the things I said I would. Then I got older and had more responsibilities and I still ran - [Patience is an Action](https://hellinthehallway.net/2016/07/07/patience-is-an-action/) - "Patience is also a form of action."―Auguste Rodin Modern Living I don't know about you, but patience isn't my long suit. I think I know best, I think other people should do what I think they should do and then I get antsy when they don't do it. Pretty insane. And yet, I keep doing - [Five Things](https://hellinthehallway.net/2016/06/22/5-things/) - Pick 5 If you could pick 5 things... right this minute... that you would like to have... right this minute... what would they be? Quick, write them down. Be sure you write them down since having them in your head doesn't count. Why? Because it's easy to lose the lesson if you don't. Do it. - [You'll Understand (When You're Older)](https://hellinthehallway.net/2016/06/16/youll-understand-youre-older/) - It Doesn't Make Sense To You Now Remember when people said this to you? "I can't explain it to you, you'll understand when you're older." That answer is infuriating, isn't it? In some ways it's true and in other ways, it's bullsh*t. I am acutely aware of how we "older people" talk to younger people. - [The Case for Kindness](https://hellinthehallway.net/2016/06/10/caseforkindness/) - "Practice kindness all day, to everybody, and you will realize you're already in heaven now." Jack Kerouac Why Kindness? Why Everyday? I recently was surprised with a service award for volunteer work. I was mortified that they were recognizing me at their annual luncheon and I was caught off guard. (If they had told me - [When a Wall Is Good](https://hellinthehallway.net/2016/06/01/when-a-wall-is-good/) - Walls Divide Us There's a lot of talk these days about walls and bridges. Walls to keep out our Mexican neighbors, bridges to heal racial and social divides. But a wall is good when it sets a boundary. When it says, nope... don't go any farther than this. Setting a boundary, telling someone, "I won't - [The Case for Silly](https://hellinthehallway.net/2016/05/16/the-case-for-silly/) - What Ever Happened to Silly? If you're fortunate enough to be around kids under the age of 10, you know you're going to get into the sillies. One kid says something and then soon everyone is giggling and carrying on. I love this. I live for this. Younger kids aren't all judgy. They might try - [The Tides of Confidence](https://hellinthehallway.net/2016/05/12/the-tides-of-confidence/) - Confidence Comes and Goes I was thinking about my confidence. How it comes and goes like the ocean tides. Sometimes, I feel supremely confident. Like my decisions, my thought process and my ability to 'pull it off' are good. No doubts, no questions. Then something happens. I'm never quite sure what happens. Suddenly, I'm questioning - [Banana Management](https://hellinthehallway.net/2016/05/04/banana-management/) - Banana Management Is Serious Business If you have a baby at home, you likely know about banana management. This is the art and science of making sure you have enough ripe bananas on hand for your baby (without running to the store everyday to get new ones). When my kids were little, they loved bananas. - [Diary of A Wimpy Adult](https://hellinthehallway.net/2016/04/27/diary-wimpy-adult/) - Wimpy Is As Wimpy Does Yes, I'm calling you wimpy. I'm calling me wimpy. We're all a bunch of wimps. Well, not really. But I do think many of us could toughen up. I'm not saying there aren't lots of genuinely difficult problems that people face, clearly there are. I'm referring to a lot of - [Outside Looks Inside](https://hellinthehallway.net/2016/04/20/outside-looks-inside/) - "When I go out for a walk, there is so much that makes me happy to be alive. Breathing. Not thinking. Observing. I am grateful beyond measure to be part of it all. There are trees. Glorious and consoling. Changing with the seasons. Reminders that all things change. And change again." Maria Kalman The Case - [But I Had No Choice, Did I?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2016/04/15/but-i-had-no-choice/) - It's unlikely you have no choice. More likely: There's no easy choice. No safe choice, that also embraces your potential. No choice you can make that doesn't cause short-term misery in exchange for a long-term benefit. Seth Godin Do I or Don't I? When I hear myself say, "I had no choice," I know that - [Outlook: Grime or Prime?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2016/04/07/3941/) - This quote blows me away. It would seem like being miserable would take less work. Just head to the sofa or refrigerator or both and sulk. But when I stopped to think about it, I find that I agree. I think the key word here is 'work'. It doesn't seem like I work at being - [The Case For Adaptation](https://hellinthehallway.net/2016/03/30/the-case-for-adaptation/) - Adapting may be more difficult but it necessary. - [Be Coachable -- At Any Age](https://hellinthehallway.net/2016/03/24/be-coachable-at-any-age/) - But I Haven't Got the Talent Sometimes I hear people giving up on their goal. That can be ok. Sometimes surrender is the right thing to do. But sometimes, giving up is a very bad thing. We act as if changing ourselves or working harder wouldn't make a difference. In our hearts, we know changing - [Just Connecting Isn't Enough](https://hellinthehallway.net/2016/03/17/linkedin/) - Me Likey/Me Don't Likey Most of us have good work relationships. We get along with people, we know how to help colleagues, we enjoy building our business. In 2016, we know we need to have a strong network so when we need to change jobs (either our choice or our company's), we're ready. The part - [Ch-Ch-Changes](https://hellinthehallway.net/2016/03/03/ch-ch-changes/) - When I was young, my dysfunctional family made daily life very chaotic. While I wouldn't wish that type of churning nuttiness on anyone, it did several positive things for me. One was that it made me adaptable. I certainly wasn't going to have things my way, so I had to learn to go along and - [Self Respect and the Joy of Self Reliance](https://hellinthehallway.net/2016/02/24/self-reliance-and-self-respect/) - "The willingness to accept responsibility for one's own life --- this is the source from which self-respect springs." Joan Didion Slouching Towards Bethlehem But I Don't Want To... I hate discipline. I mean, I like it and appreciate it and then again, I loathe it. Why do I have to do so many things I - [The Power of Asking](https://hellinthehallway.net/2016/02/19/the-power-of-asking/) - Sales Stinks When I work with entrepreneurs, the most significant skill they lack is very often in sales. And sales is all about understanding the customer's need and then asking for their business. It's that simple. Ask good questions, listen to the answer, match their need with what you have to offer. If you can't - [Perfectionism Is Slow Death](https://hellinthehallway.net/2016/02/09/stop-trying-to-be-perfect/) - " If everything were to turn out just like i would want it to, just like i would plan for it to, then i would never experience anything new; my life would be an endless repetition of stale successes. When i make a mistake, i experience something unexpected.... when i have listened to my mistakes - [Embracing the Mess](https://hellinthehallway.net/2016/02/04/embracing-the-mess/) - "Embrace the glorious mess that you are." Elizabeth Gilbert "Doggone It, People Like Me" Jack Handey I spent a lot of my younger years thinking that I was crazy, a mess, not that bright... very negative self talk. It took me many years to realize that everyone is a 'hot mess'. That being a gloppy, - [Job at Google? No Thanks.](https://hellinthehallway.net/2016/01/28/job-google-no-thanks/) - Google, The Holy Grail of Employers A lot has been written about interviewing and working at Google. William Poundstone has a book. Here's an article from the NY Times, and there are probably hundreds more. My question is, what do you give up when you work at a big (50k + employees) company? (I worked - [Live Gently, Let Go Gracefully](https://hellinthehallway.net/2016/01/22/3900/) - Ugh, it's hard to be gentle and graceful when the world makes me mad. And it's especially hard to let go of things that I think I want or keep me comfortable. Live Gently For me, it means, walking and talking softly. I have a very loud voice. I talk fast and with enthusiasm. - [Oh, Oh... I Got Fired](https://hellinthehallway.net/2016/01/15/oh-oh-got-fired/) - Oh, Oh... I Got Fired If you've been fired in the past year or two and it was your first time, you might still feel bad about it. I was fired 3 times (well, technically fired twice and laid off once). The first time, I worked in a shoe store in high school. They wanted - [The Beauty of the Winter Garden](https://hellinthehallway.net/2015/12/17/the-beauty-of-the-winter-garden/) - It's Not Beautiful, It's Dead In the middle of winter, we think about the green of summer, the abundance of the garden, the color of the flowers and wish that things were different. We forget to look at the garden as beautiful. If we take a few minutes and look carefully, we'll see many unexpected - [The Case for Discomfort](https://hellinthehallway.net/2015/12/09/the-case-for-discomfort/) - Let's Get Comfortable Here in America, we spend a lot of our time, energy and money on getting, being and staying "comfortable." Think about it. If we're hungry - we eat, if we're cold - we turn up the heat. I'm not suggesting that we sit around hungry in the freezing cold; but I am - [Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired](https://hellinthehallway.net/2015/12/03/hungry-angry-lonely-tired/) - H.A.L.T. (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired) Makes Everything Worse When I find myself stressed, I try to remember to check for these 4 things before I do or say anything else. Hungry I'm not good when I'm hungry. I can get snippy and rude. It's not my intention, but it happens. I've learned over the years - [Fear, I Feel You](https://hellinthehallway.net/2015/11/19/fear-i-feel-you/) - "I feel you, Fear, and I'm moving forward." Chris Brogan Fear and Failure These are 2 sides of the same negative coin. We are taught to deny fear and fear failure. In my experience, this is self-defeating. Think about this other quote from the wonderful Chris Brogan, "Use fear to inform you, but never let - [I'll Do It Myself - Independence Is Overrated](https://hellinthehallway.net/2015/11/12/ill-do-it-myself-independence-is-overrated/) - I hate asking for help, I'd rather be independent. But this is lonely and difficult. I need to learn how to ask for what I need. - [One Thing I Must Do Everyday](https://hellinthehallway.net/2015/11/06/one-thing-i-must-do-everyday/) - Breathing is the only thing I have to do everyday. Taking a deep breath several times a day will help us reduce stress, improve focus and be calmer. - [No Is A Complete Sentence](https://hellinthehallway.net/2015/10/29/no-is-a-complete-sentence/) - I learned to say yes to everything, even if it is too much for me. Women are encouraged to do a lot. It's important to learn to say no. - [You're a Genius - Everyday](https://hellinthehallway.net/2015/10/15/youre-a-genius-everyday/) - Judging others based on our own experience is a problem. We need to learn to keep an open mind to what other believe and value. This is how we make progress - [Want to Be a Success, Be Nice](https://hellinthehallway.net/2015/09/23/want-big-success-nice/) - In the dog eat dog world of business, it seems necessary to be aggressive. Being nice may get you farther. - [Persistence + Love = Abundance](https://hellinthehallway.net/2015/09/17/persistence-love-abundance/) - Modern living is full of distractions. It's easier to move on to try something new than to stick to something difficult. Yet we know the rewards are in persisting. - [Attention Is the Rarest & Purest Form of Generosity](https://hellinthehallway.net/2015/09/02/attention-is-the-rarest-purest-form-of-generosity/) - Giving someone our full attention is difficult in the age of distraction. I should check my email, texts, news... try giving your full attention to someone. - [I Hate Being A Grown Up, Maturity is Overrated](https://hellinthehallway.net/2015/08/27/i-hate-being-a-grown-up-maturity-is-overrated/) - Is maturity over rated? What does it get you? It helps me to find the balance between anger and composure. I hate being a grown up. - [Against the Wind](https://hellinthehallway.net/2015/08/19/against-the-wind/) - Is it better to run with the wind, conform? or run against the wind, go your own way? There are times when each is worthwhile. - [And Now For Something Completely Different...](https://hellinthehallway.net/2015/08/14/and-now-for-something-completely-different/) - In case you don't recognize the photo, it's comedians Jerry Seinfeld and Kevin Hart from Jerry's digital series, Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee. If you aren't familiar with his show, Jerry picks up different comedians from their homes and takes them for ride in a car that he's selected specifically for them (presumably to go - [Curiosity - Brought Back the Cat](https://hellinthehallway.net/2015/07/30/routine-vs-curiosity/) - Which is more important for an entrepreneur, IQ, EQ or CQ, curiosity quotient? Perhaps all 3. - [Got Values? Act Like It.](https://hellinthehallway.net/2015/07/17/got-values-act-like-it/) - We are all prejudiced, but we can make a conscious effort to change how we think. Start today. - [Oh Behave](https://hellinthehallway.net/2015/07/09/oh-behave/) - Maturity comes from accepting the past, present and future as important to our peace of mind and personal growth. - [Trading Places](https://hellinthehallway.net/2015/07/02/trading-places/) - No matter what some else has, money, fame, stuff... I am happy to be myself. I would not trade places with anyone. - [Secret to Life](https://hellinthehallway.net/2015/06/17/get-back/) - The secret to life is to fall down seven times and get up eight. - [Are You A 'DTM' - Difficult to Manage?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2015/06/11/are-you-a-dtm-difficult-to-manage/) - What Is a DTM? I was one of those employees labeled as 'difficult to manage.' When I worked in corporate america, I wasn't intimidated by anyone's position in the company. I tended to say my ideas out loud, even when they weren't solicited. I was comfortable organizing chaos and happy when working with a team - [Oh Lord, Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood](https://hellinthehallway.net/2015/06/04/oh-lord-please-dont-let-me-be-misunderstood/) - As humans we are more alike than different. Religion, nationality and the like that separate us. We don't have to take the difference personally. Let it go. - [Audit Yourself (No B.S. Allowed)](https://hellinthehallway.net/2015/05/28/audit-yourself-no-b-s-allowed/) - The hustle today is to lead a company. Most of us, however, lack the self awareness to be the leader. A self awareness audit will improve our leadership. - [Are You a Manager or a Leader?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2015/05/20/are-you-a-manager-or-a-leader/) - Are people born leaders or can they be trained to be a great leader? Is the ability to lead and or manage innate or can we learn to be really good at both? - [Learning to Walk](https://hellinthehallway.net/2015/05/13/learning-walk/) - There's a lot of falling down when learning to walk. Solving complex problems requires letting go of a specific path and trusting the team to get it done. - [Creativity: A Way of Being vs. a Way of Doing](https://hellinthehallway.net/2015/05/04/creativity-way-vs-way/) - Creativity is a way of being not doing certain things. We are all creative in our own way. Be yourself and appreciate nature, you'll be better for it. - [Surrendering as Action](https://hellinthehallway.net/2015/04/24/surrendering-as-action/) - "Surrendering is action. Surrendering to what you can't control is the most powerful form of action." Time to quit Surrender is not the same as quitting. Sometimes, quitting can be appropriate. Sometimes surrendering is appropriate. They are not, however, the same thing. Quitting means, stopping. If I smoked and I stopped... then I quit. If - [Success - How High You Bounce After You Hit Bottom](https://hellinthehallway.net/2015/04/15/success-how-high-you-bounce-when-you-hit-bottom/) - Success depends on learning from our mistakes; tools for learning about ourselves. When we hit bottom there is only one way to go, up. Mistakes are good. - [Finding a job: 1930 vs. 2015](https://hellinthehallway.net/2015/04/08/finding-a-job-1930-vs-2015/) - In 1930, finding work was tough. Imagine having to walk the street with a sandwich sign as your main way to find work. - [What Can You 'Give' Your Children?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2013/11/22/what-can-you-give-your-children/) - I have two children; they are wonderful people. There are times when I wonder what I gave them. Oh, I think I was a good mother. I'm not questioning whether I gave them a good education or a nice home, but I wonder - what did I pass on to them that they only could - [A Dog Never Tells What She Knows...](https://hellinthehallway.net/2013/12/09/a-dog-never-tells-what-she-knows/) - A dog can never tell you what she knows from the smells of the world, but you know, watching her, that you know almost nothing. Mary Oliver This is my dog Gildie. She is the first dog I have ever had. What is there to learn from your first dog? Wow. Everything. She is so - [This is Your Life. Do What You Want...](https://hellinthehallway.net/2013/12/20/this-is-your-life-do-what-you-want/) - "This is your life. Do what you want and do it often. If you don't like something, change it. If you don't like your job, quit. If you don't have enough time, stop watching TV. If you are looking for the love of your life, stop; they will be waiting for you when you start - [Be Who You Are](https://hellinthehallway.net/2015/03/31/be-who-you-are/) - Most of us are afraid of being judged by others so we conform in the way we dress, think and who we associate with. This betrays the uniqueness of ourselves - [Growing Old Disgracefully](https://hellinthehallway.net/2014/01/22/growing-old-disgracefully/) - I hope I am growing old disgracefully. I know I was a disgrace when I was young. Protesting the war in Vietnam, making too much noise, listening to REALLY loud rock music (which many people liked then and which even more people of all ages LOVE now), hitchhiking (yeah, you could do it in those - [The Sweetest Sound: My Name](https://hellinthehallway.net/2015/03/27/the-sweetest-sound-my-name/) - the most important word in business is the other person's name. work hard to remember it and you'll be more effective - [Job Interview Magic: I and We](https://hellinthehallway.net/2015/03/17/job-interview-magic-i-and-we/) - THe - [Job Interview Question: Why Are Tennis Balls Fuzzy?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2014/01/29/job-interview-question-why-are-tennis-balls-fuzzy/) - I recently gave a talk in front of a group of senior executives (older folk) who are 'in the hallway' (looking for work). I was talking about the collaborative economy and I made a reference to Porter's 5 forces model. Now, you may never have heard of this, no big deal. But for a group - [Habits for Excellence - Yawn. Been There.](https://hellinthehallway.net/2015/03/04/habits-for-excellence-yawn-been-there/) - Cultivating productive habits can be useful but being enthusiastic in all aspects of your life can be even more beneficial. - [Swearing and Spelling](https://hellinthehallway.net/2015/02/25/swearing-and-spelling/) - I find it surprising and disturbing that recruiters are still holding two things against job seekers in their social media posts: Swearing and spelling. Really? In the infographic, "Watch What You Post on Social Media," when recruiters were asked, "what are the biggest red flags in job applicants' social profiles?, the answer is, well, old - ["Failure is a Process ... You Have to Fail Over and Over"](https://hellinthehallway.net/2014/02/04/failure-is-a-process-you-have-to-fail-over-and-over/) - "Failure is a process ... you have to fail over and over and over again to get anything that's worthwhile." Jules Feiffer cartoonist Feel like a failure? You're actually winning. Watch this 40 second video about the power of failure. According to Mr. Feiffer, you need to continuously try new things and fail in order - [You're A Rookie, Good!](https://hellinthehallway.net/2015/02/20/youre-a-rookie-good/) - we often think being a rookie is bad. we're new, we don't know a lot. But being a rookie is important for innovation. - [Develop Unconventional Skills](https://hellinthehallway.net/2015/02/10/develop-unconventional-skills/) - When you learn unconventional skills, you make yourself a more valuable employee. - [Do You Have B. S. S. ?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2014/02/12/do-you-have-b-s-s/) - "My dear, here, we must run as fast as we can, just to stay in place. And if you wish to go anywhere you must run twice as fast as that," Alice In Wonderland BSS = Big Shot Syndrome - Have you got it? Before you say NOooo ... Ponder these questions... there are no - [I Don't Care](https://hellinthehallway.net/2015/01/30/dont-care/) - Be different. Non conformity is useful to creativity, not so much when you need to fit in or work in a corporate environment. Risk taking is hard. - [Advice From A Tree... Stand Tall](https://hellinthehallway.net/2014/02/21/advice-from-a-tree-stand-tall/) - A very dear friend of mine recently passed away suddenly at the tender age of 62. She was a spiritual seeker, yoga teacher, artist. mother, widow and generally an inspiration. When I read these words, I thought of her. Practical, simple and profound. If I were going to rename my blog... I'd probably call it, - [Start Where You Are](https://hellinthehallway.net/2015/01/22/start/) - Teddy Roosevelt told us to be who we are. Pema Chodron urges us to start where we are. Today is all we have. - [Why Are You So Angry?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2015/01/14/angry/) - Out of control anger can poison relationships. If you find yourself lashing out at people, get some help. Al-Anon, your church, employee assistance programs - [Wanna Be A Teacher? Be a Student.](https://hellinthehallway.net/2015/01/07/good-teachers-everywhere-one/) - It's more important to be a student than a teacher. Teacher act important, students are humble. - [Moments](https://hellinthehallway.net/2014/02/28/moments/) - "Exhaust the little moment. Soon it dies ... and it will not come again..." Gwendolyn Brooks It's been a long, cold winter and yes, it's only February. But since I got my dog, I am outside several times a day, no matter what the weather. This. is. good. It helps me to be acutely aware - [But I Can't... Yes I Can](https://hellinthehallway.net/2014/12/18/cant/) - What's blocking your vision? I have a vision of my self as a creative person. I'd like to consider myself an artist. I'm not concerned whether other people think I'm an artist, I want to think of myself that way. I'm not sure what is blocking me. Is my hair in my face? Do I - [Thought for the Day - Showing Respect](https://hellinthehallway.net/2014/12/03/thought-day/) - Ferguson Missouri is teaching a lot of us about how we can begin, once again, to talk about subjects that just don't get talked about... race relations - [Lessons From A Navy Seal: Mud & Singing](https://hellinthehallway.net/2014/12/12/lessons-navy-seal/) - Changing the world doesn't mean doing something big, it only takes a calm, soothing voice in the midst of chaos to help each other. - [Embrace the Mess - A Key to Innovation](https://hellinthehallway.net/2014/11/21/embrace-mess/) - Innovation requires messiness. In order to figure out how to do it differently, we need to try to break a few eggs. - [Shut Up and Listen. You Can't Learn If You're Talking.](https://hellinthehallway.net/2014/03/12/shut-up-and-listen-you-cant-learn-if-youre-talking/) - Have you ever tried listening to someone who is annoying you? Have you ever tried going a whole day without giving your opinion, not even once? If you're an introvert, this may be easier for you. But for outgoing people, this is a big problem. And, by the way, it can be a problem for - [You Must Go to College BEFORE You Start a Company](https://hellinthehallway.net/2014/03/17/you-must-go-to-college-before-you-start-a-company/) - I was skimming through a book titled, "The $100 Startup, Reinvent the Way You Make a Living, " by Chris Guillebeau (a wicked cool guy). In the first pages, he tells the story of Michael Hanna, the successful sales professional. Twenty plus years experience and he is called in to his boss's office, the HR - [Momentum: Do You Need to Go Backward to Go Forward?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2014/11/13/momentum-forward-backward/) - In life we sometimes need to go backward in order to go forward. Focus on the progress, think about set backs as a way through the obstacles. - [Leadership: Handout or Hand Up?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2014/03/25/leadership-handout-or-hand-up/) - As leaders do we see ourselves as coaches, mentors and teachers or as managers, bosses and the person "in-charge." The distinction may be subtle but the influence you may have on people and the results you drive may not be subtle. In the book, "Leaders East Last," (title derived from the Marine Corps where enlisted - [The Art and Joy of Self Reliance](https://hellinthehallway.net/2014/11/06/art-joy-self-reliance/) - When we're growing up, we learn to fit in and lose the very things that make us unique. Learn to believe in and depend on yourself. Then you are free. - [The Irreverent Resume](https://hellinthehallway.net/2014/10/29/irreverent-resume/) - Most resumes are reiterations of things that people can find in your LinkedIn profile. Write a plan for how you would do the job. - [Key Hiring Question: When & Why Will You Leave?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2014/04/07/key-hiring-question-when-why-will-you-leave/) - When you are interviewing for a job... probably one of the last things on your mind... is why and when you might leave. You're thinking... I don't even have the job... why would I think about when I might leave? Great companies make this complex question part of the interview process. In an insightful article - [Confront Your Shark](https://hellinthehallway.net/2014/10/23/confront-shark/) - In the article, "10 Navy Seal Life Lessons You Can Use Everyday," Navy Seal Admiral W. H. McRaven shows us how to train like a seal. One of the 10 lessons is to "confront your daily shark." Wow, really. I don't want to. That's why it's a shark; it's big, dangerous, mysterious, overwhelming. In truth, - [Are You Part of the "Other Backward Class"?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2014/10/16/obcs-backward-classes/) - In America we have so much and yet we complain when small things go wrong. We have so much to be grateful for. - [The Creative Journey... What About the Money?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2014/10/07/creative-journey-money/) - "Art suffers the moment other people start paying for it. The more you need the money, the more people will tell you what to do. The less control you will have. The more bullshit you will have to swallow. The less joy it will bring. Know this and plan accordingly." Hugh MacLeod This post is - [Seasick](https://hellinthehallway.net/2014/04/16/seasick/) - I visited (helped out) one of my children recently; they just had their first child. Watching your child with their child is one of life's great joys. We are fortunate, mom and baby are doing well. As I watch them learn about their new family member, I am impressed by their calmness. They are both - [What I Learned from My Dog: Part 2](https://hellinthehallway.net/2014/04/24/what-i-learned-from-my-dog-part-2/) - How do dogs spend their days? - Eating, sleeping, sniffing, barking, chasing We human beings can learn a few things from them. The eating and sleeping part we all get. But what about: - Sniffing - this is the equivalent of learning, but hands on learning, not the... oh I went to college kind. - [Starting a Business... Founders Reflect](https://hellinthehallway.net/2014/10/02/startups-fail-founders-think/) - When asked, founders say that the number one reason their new company failed is that there wasn't a market need. This can be avoided. - [Listen My Children And You Will Hear...](https://hellinthehallway.net/2014/04/28/listen-my-children-and-you-will-hear/) - "I'm frankly sick and tired of the political preachers across this country telling me as a citizen that if I want to be a moral person, I must believe in "A," "B," "C" and "D." Just who do they think they are? And from where do they presume to claim the right to dictate their - [Feel Sorry For the Ferrari Driver](https://hellinthehallway.net/2014/09/24/feel-sorry-ferrari-driver/) - Do you think success is about money and position or about effort and risk? - [Nothing is Certain, But Everything is Possible](https://hellinthehallway.net/2014/05/07/nothing-is-certain-but-everything-is-possible/) - Do you remember stories that were told in your family? In my family, my grandfather used to tell, "Billy the Mountain Goat" stories. Now I was too young to remember any of them but for those who heard and know them, they are treasures. In this article, "The Storyteller of Marrakech," the author tells us - [Are You Learning as Fast as the World is Changing?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2014/09/17/learning-fast-world-changing/) - The world is changing fast, you must keep learning in order to keep growing. Learning comes in many forms, adventures, travel, education, meeting new people - [Why We Work?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2014/09/10/work/) - Do we work strictly to earn money or do we look to build our skills and help others? - [Creating Work You Love (Sounds Scary or Ridiculous)](https://hellinthehallway.net/2014/05/12/creating-work-you-love-sounds-scary-or-ridiculous/) - Why am I an entrepreneur? "We've made the decision to let you go," my boss said over the telephone. I was shocked and upset.That was, the first time. The second time I was let go, not so much. By the third time I said to myself, "Never again." I am not going to put myself - [Life and Death as a Frog](https://hellinthehallway.net/2014/09/03/life-death-frog/) - When we see, hear and feel that change is inevitable, do we get ready and quickly adapt? or do we hang on to what we know? - [I Hate Being A GrownUp](https://hellinthehallway.net/2014/05/28/i-hate-being-a-grownup/) - One of the good things about about being a grown up is that you get to choose when you act/think like a kid. The problem is that many of us never choose that path, even for a few minutes. Once we're grown up, we think it's wrong to be silly or color outside the lines. - [Are You Cool?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2014/08/26/cool/) - Increasing our self awareness, self assuredness and self compassion lead to freedom and independence. Very cool. - [Single Best Piece of Career Advice](https://hellinthehallway.net/2014/06/04/single-best-piece-career-advice/) - A change in attitude is important for finding a rewarding career. - [I'm Too Old to Change](https://hellinthehallway.net/2014/08/19/im-old-change/) - The ability to change isn't related to age. It's all about attitude. Change is good. - [Building Your Business](https://hellinthehallway.net/2014/08/15/building-business/) - The rules of entrepreneurship apply to both career development and business building. - [I Don't Know You, Why Should I Help You?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2014/06/11/get-help-give-something-first/) - Building a network is important because most successful job seekers get their job from a referral. Use LinkedIn, gratitude and the book Go Giver to help. - [Boredom: Wishful or Wasteful?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2014/08/05/boredom-necessary-wasteful/) - It is in the quiet of boredom that our minds are free to innovate. Boredom actually serves a purpose. - [Black & White & You All Over](https://hellinthehallway.net/2014/08/01/black-white/) - Each of us has a choice to change our attitude from negative to positive. - [Where Are You Today: In the Future or the Past?](https://hellinthehallway.net/2014/06/16/today/) - Just for today, stop worrying and take a moment to breathe. - [Anything Worthwhile Will Take a Long Time](https://hellinthehallway.net/2014/07/17/anything-worthwhile-will-take-long-time/) - Presence is far more intricate and rewarding than productivity. Establishing a presence that is yours alone and that reflects your values takes time and patience. - [Shiny Objects: Necessary Distractions](https://hellinthehallway.net/2014/07/10/shiny-objects-necessary-distractions/) - Focus and distraction are two sides of the understanding how to make myself happy coin. - [You're A Genius ... In Your Own Way](https://hellinthehallway.net/2014/07/01/smart-way/) - There are many ways we can be a genius, athletic, mechanical, artistic, verbal, interpersonal, naturalistic, color, cultural, linguistic. ## Pages - [Want More? Contact me :)](https://hellinthehallway.net/contact-me/) - You can email me at Deborah@deborahmourey.com I'd love to hear from you OR You can also visit my website at Deborahmourey.com or subscribe to my blog by entering your email below: Get Updates - [Reset Password](https://hellinthehallway.net/reset-password/) - [My Account](https://hellinthehallway.net/account/) - [My Profile](https://hellinthehallway.net/my-profile/) - [Member Directory](https://hellinthehallway.net/member-directory/) - [Log In](https://hellinthehallway.net/log-in/) - [Sign Up](https://hellinthehallway.net/sign-up/) - [Why the Hallway?](https://hellinthehallway.net/why/) - Why I Started This Blog "When One Door Closes, Another Door Opens... But It's Hell in the Hallway" I started writing this blog in 2008. At that point in my life, I had been through so many transitions, moves (I moved 27 times over about 10 years), changes, twists and turns… that I thought, maybe - [Finding our Way](https://hellinthehallway.net/finding-our-way/) - One thing that confuses me about modern living is how people don’t talk about some of the most significant things that happen to us. At a time when we have access to nearly all the information ever created, we are still not talking much about things like, death, money, raising our family, etc. There’s lots - [Who the Heck Writes This?](https://hellinthehallway.net/about-me/) - A college professor, blogger, speaker, workshop leader and consultant, Deborah entertains and informs audiences around the country in marketing best practices. Always practical and funny, she's a popular addition to the podium. Specializing in B2B marketing, her expertise in both traditional and digital marketing has helped establish her as a thought leader in using the - [Speaking & Workshops](https://hellinthehallway.net/speaking-teaching/) - Contact me: I'd love to talk with you, deborah@deborahmourey.com Who I Am - I have a deep sales & marketing background and have worked in industrial, non profit and government environments. Currently I am a speaker, blogger, college professor and consultant. 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