The saying “Just Do It” has been with us for decades. It may have motivated some people to do things sooner or better, but it also may have spawned the idea that we have control over things that maybe, we don’t. I hear a lot of “justs” that drive me crazy, all judgy and belittling…
- “Just” say it… (why are you so afraid?!?)
- “Just” want it … (if you really wanted it badly enough, you’d get it)
- “Just” be the change …(if only you’d visualize who you want to be it would happen)”
Just… just… just — if only you were stronger, smarter, cared more… your life would be completely different.
If it was only a matter of desire, people would do/be/get a lot of things. But real things hold them back. This isn’t an excuse for not doing things, but the idea that somehow I’m “less than,” because I can’t ‘just’ will myself into a better/different circumstance, is useless. I’m not saying that a strong desire will not change things, I saying that for some of us, that strong desire isn’t enough and ‘just’ is not motivating.
Born This Way
I appreciate many things about Millenials, one of them is their passion for balance. That they are not going to work all the time and then wonder what happened to their lives (like the Boomers). The message sent to them is, “‘why don’t you want it want it more? If you did, you’d work harder.” What this implies is that if you (the Millennial) would “just,” devote more time/try harder/do without more/stop being so selfish… you would have more success. As if the person who is saying this ‘just’… is somehow the keeper of knowledge and the way we should live our lives. Millenials were born wiser than that.
Self-Compassion as Compass
Thinking about self-criticism vs. self-compassion is one way to move beyond the ‘just’ in our heads. Self-criticism is characterized by fear and self-compassion by healing. Viewed through the lens of self-compassion, actions that appear self-serving may be motivated by a desire for well-being over … well, whatever else other people think we should chase. For today, be gentle with yourself.
Image credit: Pixteller
Melinda
December 13, 2017Thank you 🙂 I was listening to a little podcast today and they mentioned the word “ahimsa” (Sanskrit) which I’ve liked for many years – it just has a lovely gentle sound, but it also means non-harm/compassion. I run/design a jewelry business and was trying to think of an idea for a new design to symbolize compassionately taking the actions/thinking the thoughts that help ourselves out (the day to day stuff especially). Hmm. Anyway – reminders for compassion, especially self compassion are always welcome and usually needed so thank you! Life can be hard enough in this chamber of horrors ??
Deborah
December 14, 2017Ahimsa… I love it. To hurt another is to hurt ourselves and to hurt ourselves is to hurt another. I will carry this with me. Thank you Melinda! d
Kelly Robinson
December 14, 2017We are always too hard on ourselves. Comparing our today to another today and forgetting that people only show you what they want you to see. If we take time out we are selfish, if we do too much we are greedy, if we do too little we are lazy.
Ultimately we have to be happy with our own choices rightly or wrongly.
Where ever we go we are always there, so we have to be content with ourselves first.
Deborah
December 14, 2017Kelly I agree. That comparing stuff is so bad. It’s hard to be an individual who focuses on what makes ourselves happy vs. what other people think we should do. Thanks for joining in the conversation.
Katherine Reeves
December 19, 2017I love this!! And especially the little note at the end to be gentle with yourself. I have to remind myself of this often as I am only human and “to be human is to err”. I make mistakes often as do most others, and that’s OK! I wish I was more diligent about practicing this for myself, but I am not always consistent.
But the more I think of it, that would be a great New Years resolution! ☺️
Deborah
December 20, 2017Agreed! Imagine of the new year’s resolution was to be gentle with ourselves. It’s a great idea and I’m going to do that. I’ll let you know how it’s goes. 🙂